Text 378, 86 rader
Skriven 2005-06-28 09:42:40 av George Pope (1:153/307.11)
    Kommentar till text 377 av Steve Asher (3:800/432.0)
Ärende: The Return Of "1984"
============================
On (29 Jun 05) Steve Asher wrote to All...
 SA> In what was then the futuristic, nightmare world of ''1984," written
 SA> in 1949, Orwell introduced the concepts of ''newspeak,"

written in 1948 (thus the title) -- perhaps published in 1949?

Yeah, good old newspeak:

Some excerpts
from the _Quarterly Review of Doublespeak_ (NCTE) which you all should find
amusing:

  A reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor
recorded the following on the patient's chart:  "Patient failed to
fulfill his wellness potential."

  Another doctor reports that in a recent issue of the *American Journal
of Family Practice* fleas were called "hematophagous arthropod vectors."

  The letter from the Air Force colonel in charge of safety said that
rocket boosters weighing more than 300,000 pounds "have an explosive
force upon surface impact that is sufficient to exceed the accepted
overpressure threshhold of physiological damage for exposed personnel."
In other words, if a 300,000-pound booster rocket falls on someone, he
or she is not likely to survive.

  A reader reports that the Army calls them "vertically deployed anti-
personnel devices."  You probably call them bombs.

  At McClellan Air Force base in Sacramento, California, civilian
mechanics were placed on "non-duty, non-pay status."  That is, they were
fired.

  A personal ad from an unidentified mewspaper announces that a
"formerly single man" seeks a single or married woman.

  After taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls
of film to Kodak for developing (or "processing," as Kodak likes to call
it) only to receive the following notice:  "We must report that during
the handling of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were
involved in an unusual laboratory experience."  The use of the passive
is a particularly nice touch, don't you think?  Nobody did anything to
the films; they just had a bad experience.  Of course our reader can
always go back to Tibet and take his pictures all over again, using the
twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously sent him.

  The description on the package of Stouffer's Veal Tortellini with
Tomato Sauce says it contains "exquisite egg pasta."  The list of
ingredients, however, includes "cooked noodle product."

 In St. Louis there is an oriental rug store that advertizes "semi-
antique" rugs.

  The Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all
students to do some "volunteer work" as a prerequisite to high school
graduation.


  Senator Orrin Hatch said that "capital punishment is our society's
recognition of the sanctity of human life."

  According to the tax bill signed by President Reagan on December 22,
1987, Don Tyson and his sister-in-law Barbara run a "family farm."
Their "farm" has 25,000 employees and grosses $1.7 billion a year.  But
as a "family farm" they get tax breaks that save them $135 million a
year.

  Scott L. Pickard, spokesperson for the Massachusetts Department of
Public Works, calls them "ground-mounted confirmatory route markers."
You probably call them road signs, but then you don't work in a
government agency.

  It's not "elderly" or "senior citizens" anymore.  Now it's "chrono-
logically experienced citizens."

  According to the FAA, the propeller blade didn't break off, it was
just a case of "uncontained blade liberation."



Because I care,
<+]::-{)}  (Cyberpope(the Bishop of ROM!))


--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via the Milky Way! (1:153/307.11)