Text 18689, 87 rader
Skriven 2007-08-08 11:34:20 av DAVE SACERDOTE (1:123/140)
Ärende: Some Tastes
===================
Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, left over from the picnic.  There was
an unopened box of these, which no one seemed very interested in, so I
took it with me as a "road snack" for the drive home.

They're made by well-known jelly bean manufacturer Jelly Belly, so it
should come as no surprise that the fruit flavors such as blueberry and
green apple are very good - more or less accurate with some artificial
"chemic" undertones (mild) and full-bodied flavors (fairly intense.)
But I'm not writing this about the fruit flavors.  I'm writing about the
disgusting flavors. [g]

Sardine - Not as pleasant as a real sardine, but I suppose this flavor
is as accurate as it's going to get for their intent, which is to 
deliver a mild gross-out to someone who wouldn't ever eat a sardine
anyway.  Kind of a stale fishy taste, like a dehydrated strip of
fishsnack.  Interesting note:  Most of the specialty-flavored beans
in this particular box were the sardine flavor.  After four or five
of them, they made me a little nauseous.

Black pepper - Delicious.  The same fruity-fresh pepper flavor you
would get by biting a peppercorn (yes, I've done that) but without
the heat (alas.)  I liked these a lot.  I'd even buy a little box of
them alone.

Booger - A little salty but otherwise pretty nondescript.  Nothing
in the flavor that was particularly boogery.

Dirt - These tasted convincingly like that "loamy" smell freshly-
turned soil has after a spring rain.  No other way to describe it,
you'll either understand or you won't.  Not entirely unpleasant,
just "different."

Earthworm - Like dirt but with some kind of sour saltiness.  If
I were the manufacturer, I would have added a touch of harmless
activated charcoal to the formula to add a bit of gritty crunch.

Bacon - Smokey and enjoyable and somewhat reminiscent of bacon,
but without the porky richness of the real thing.  I was amused
by these, and got a better taste of them in the car on the way
home than when Michael shared one with me at the picnic (then,
I had just eaten a Brazil nut and my mouth was pretty effectively
numbed.)

Earwax - Bitter-plus, like quinine with a hint of sour.  I have to
admit that these were the most stomach-turning of any of them for
me, perhaps because of their translucent-dark-yellow color (which
was sickeningly authentic.)

Rotten Egg - Bleecch.  The worst part about this one was the 
sulpherous putrid belch that arose later.  Tasted every bit the
rotten egg.  Horrid.

Soap - Didn't mind this one too bad. Mostly perfumy/floral with just
a hint of soapiness.  Much less soapy flavor than cilantro, actually.

Vomit - Amazingly, there were no vomit beans in my box.  I can't 
decide whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Grass - Very much like...grass.  Only sweeter.  Not at all 
objectionable, it reminded me of chewing some mild parsley.

= = 

Two new flavors have recently been announced, but weren't even
pictured on the box because they're so new: Pickle and Sausage.
Reviews I've seen on the web say that the Pickle flavor is pretty
authentic (dill, vinegar - everything but the crunch apparently)
but that the Sausage is completely nasty (one reviewer even said
that the Vomit flavor was preferable!)  If I happen to find them 
in my wanderings, I'll try them out.

= =

Crystal Light Pomegranate/Wild Berry Slurpee - Normally, I don't
buy Slurpees because they're hypersugarinated, but it was hot out,
I was in my unairconditioned truck, and I really wanted something
icy to sip on.  7-11 was the closest store, and inside I found
one of the Slurpee machines dedicated to these sugar-free treats!

Intense pomegranate flavor, not as sweet as a standard Slurpee,
still very refreshing and, of course, every bit as icy as one would
expect of a drink made of slush.  Crystal Light Slurpee = Win.

---
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, 
minutus carborata descendum pantorum
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