Text 751, 109 rader
Skriven 2006-04-24 11:51:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av RUTH HANSCHKA
Ärende: Kosher for 569
======================
 -> This is a Kosher kitchen. If the woman's not around
 -> (which you can assume, as you're doing the cooking),
 -> there's nobody to ask. The husband sure won't know.
 RH> That depends on the husband - who had better know what's where if he
 RH> doesn't want to end up as a homicide victim.

Well, my friends Joel and Ellen are the lab case - he's the
one who gets excessively exercised about the rituals but has
no idea of the practical aspect (although he once did serve
as a rabbi's assistant in a pickle factory - therein should
lie a joke, but I can't think of one, and can't formulate
one that isn't extremely dirty) in the household. The reality
of the situation rests with Ellen, who grew up in a secular
household and who polices the rules firmly, out of deference
to her husband. It's funny eating with them and her parents
at a restaurant - they sit at one end of the table with their
fish and vegetables, and we and her parents chow down on
lobster with pork sauce and suchlike (quite literally). The
grandkids look on with a look that has elements both of
disgust and of envy.

 -> cases of dubious-looking desserty things that have various
 -> mixtures of fruit, gelatin, custard, cream, and beans, with
 -> appetizing names like vang cang bang mang. I wasn't tempted
 -> by those either (although there have been a few made with
 -> blue jelly that did catch my eye).
 RH> I've eaten some of them, especially anything with beans.  They taste
 RH> like food....  Then again, I love custardy, creamy, sweet bean type
 RH> things.   

I usedta, before the self-preservation thing came in. Since then,
my vices are less offensive - things like large steaks and beakers
full of neat whiskey.

 -> Well, good for you. I think that the common meal of greaseburger,
 -> large fries, and a shake has contributed more to the clogging of
 -> plumbing and the eutrophication of our lakes and ponds than can
 -> be imagined.
 RH> I eat a Happy Meal about once a year, but that's about it.  

I eat many happy meals but have never had a Happy Meal.

 -> the easiest way to make many people vomit is by making them
 -> drink warm salty water. But then I pointed out that what is
 -> chicken soup but warm salty water with some flavorings.
 RH> All it takes for me is cigar smoke.  I think the saline that makes
 RH> people barf has a much higher concentration of salt than real chicken
 RH> soup.

The books said something like a teaspoon per cup, and the
water must be tepid.

 RH> When I was stuck in the hospital once they served that canned
 RH> chicken broth with nothing in it - it was definitely nauseating, but
 RH> didn't actually induce vomiting.  Well, it might have but I couldn't
 RH> drink the stuff.... 

Q.E.D.

 -> Peanut Soup
 RH> Much more like it. Throw in some fufu dumplings and you're got dinner.

Fufu is too frou frou.

Baked stuffed pork chops
Cat: main, African-American
Yield: 6 servings

6 extra-thick boneless pork chops (1 1/2" thick)
3 c white bread cubes
1/4 c diced celery
3/4 c diced onion
1/4 c butter
1 Tb chopped celery leaves
2 ts crushed, dried sage
1/2 ts crushed, dried thyme
1/4 ts salt
1/8 ts pepper
1/2 c chicken broth or water
Flour for dusting
2 to 3 Tb (about) vegetable oil

Make a pocket in each chop, almost, but not completely
cutting through to opposite side. Have the butcher do it
through the length of the chop.

Place bread cubes in mixing bowl. Saute celery and onion
in butter in large skillet until tender, about 10 min.
Add celery leaves, herbs, salt, and pepper. Spoon onion
mixture into bowl with bread. Pour chicken broth into
skillet and cook over high heat 5 min, scraping up any
browned bits on bottom of pan. Pour pan juices into
bread mixture.

Stuff pork chops generously with mixture. Use toothpicks
to close.  Dust chops lightly with flour. Heat oil in
skillet (if using the same skillet as for the bread,
clean it first) and brown chops over medium-high heat,
about 2 to 3 min per side.

Spray a 13-x-9" baking dish with nonstick spray and
place chops in dish. Cover with foil. Bake in preheated
375F oven for 45 min. Halfway through baking turn chops
over to cook second side.

Source: Chicago Sun-Times archive
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