Text 8953, 99 rader
Skriven 2006-12-17 22:44:00 av JIM WELLER (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av DALE SHIPP
Ärende: Another Simon story pt 2
================================
When I arrived at the water's edge, the False Albacore (Albies) were in
the midst of their third assault on the baitfish, driving them against
the surf so they couldn't escape.  The visible results were kind of
disgusting.  Have you seen the opening segment of "Saving Private Ryan?"
It was exactly like the a Fish Version of that.  Appalling carnage. Dead
fish, wounded fish, dying fish.  Parts of fish, fish blood.  Some
floating in the water, most sweeping up onto the beach as the water came
in, being swept back down as the water receded.  Fish crying out
"Medic!"  Crying for their mothers.  Those that were merely wounded but
survived the assault by the Albies still never really stood a chance,
they were helpless against the gulls that were sniping them.

I already had formed a dislike for Albies, just based on the butchery
and bloodshed I was looking at.  Even the nastiest, hungriest, toothiest
school of blue fish doesn't ever leave such evidence behind.

Still, the idea of abundant free, fresh tuna had already entered my mind
and was already clouding my judgement.  These Albies were fat, meaty,
handsome looking fish.  The guys were already asking for tuna sashimi
for Happy Hour, I was envisioning filets and steaks and grilled tuna and
smoked tuna and tuna tartare.  Freezers filled with free tuna.

So I grabbed the smallest of the Albies by the tail, told the guys to
keep at it, and said I'd go learn what I could about the fish, see
whatever tricks there might be to cleaning or cooking them.  Two came
back home with me to get the fish cooler, and Von and I went into the
house for some breakfast and a lesson in the falseness of the False
Albacore.

Once online, I learned that the reason they're called False Albacore is
that they so strongly resemble Albacore Tuna, just built on a smaller
scale.  Like the tuna, Albies are high-energy speed demons in the water;
they attack their prey by racing at them from below, which explained the
churning and splashing water.

When I tried to find recipes for preparing Albies, however...  Uh oh. It
seemed that Albies are a well-loved game fish and utterly despised,
villified food fish.  I've never seen such mean things posted about any
person or creature as what I saw about Albies.  I know fishermen are
somewhat competitive, but some of them try to outdo one another in the
colorful, expressive, and damning language with which they talk about
Albies.

On one site I did read a suggestion from one guy that Albies can be made
edible, if you soak them first in 5 changes of water and then overnight
in milk.  Someone responded that, at best, that might make it possible
to serve Albie to your cat, but only if the cat was already declawed;
otherwise the cat will go for your face in retaliation for being served
Albie.  Someone else wrote that the best way to prepare Albies as food
was to dig a long trench, drop the fish in, cover them up with dirt, and
then plant some corn on top of them.

At that point I glanced over at the small Albie I'd brought home with me
and noticed that it was leaking a *lot* of blood into the kitchen sink.
More than a fish its size should have.  So I read on.  Here and there at
different sites, someone would describe a method they use for making
Albies edible, and 25-40 other people would respond with damnations and
harsh sarcasm about the fish, and lists of other horrible things they'd
much rather eat.  At least two people said Albies were edible if they
are smoked, but many more people said that was a disgusting idea.

At that point, I *should* have called the guys and suggested that maybe
they slow down on the Albie harvest, or move upbeach and go after some
other species, at least until I knew more.  But I was focused on finding
something hopeful, some mistake or misunderstanding that would reveal
that these fish really are just like tuna.

Also at that point, Von's older brother was awake and had joined us in
the kitchen.  He's one of those boys who spends way too much time
playing video games.  I'd already noticed his overuse of the word
"Doom," a bad habit acquired from those games.  If we buy a big pumpkin,
he calls it The Pumpkin of Doom.  If we see the opposum in the yard late
at night, it's The Opposum of Doom.  The beach dunes, those are The
Dunes of Doom.  Well, he had already decided that this dubious tuna-like
creature was The Fish of Doom, and it went by that name for the rest of
the day.

After reading so many disparaging things about such a handsome looking
fish, I decided I had to find out for myself.  So I scaled my Albie,
gutted it, and fileted it.  That should have convinced me something was
wrong, as the fish was the bloodiest thing I've ever seen.  It was like
cutting into a firm, blood-soaked sponge.  I rinsed the blood from two
small sections of filet and left them on a plate while I prepared the
saute pan and fired up the broiler oven on the back porch.  When the pan
was ready I looked, and the well- rinsed filets were once again sitting
in a substantial pool of their own blood.   Ewww.

My experiment with pan-searing a small bit of Albie was just a mess. The
moment the filet hit the hot pan, blood and fish oil began to run out of
the flesh.  It wasn't really pan-searing, it was a combination of
braising in fish blood and frying in fish oil.  And the smell...  I'm
accustomed to the smell of all kinds of Mam, fermented seafood pastes
and sauces, but none are quite as in your face as Albie in a pan.  Very
much The Fish of Doom.

to be con't
___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30
--- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5
 * Origin: Try Our Web Based QWK: DOCSPLACE.ORG (1:123/140)