Text 23151, 146 rader
Skriven 2009-04-10 22:05:06 av Sean Dennis (1:18/200)
  Kommentar till text 23145 av JIM WELLER (1:123/140)
Ärende: Porkocity
=================
Hello, JIM.

Friday April 10 2009 at 16:46, you wrote to NANCY BACKUS:

 JW> It's just I still think I'm 40 (until I look into a mirror). [g]

Speaking of marriages and relationships...

An old Southern couple, both in their sunset years, were sitting on their front
porch one fine spring morning when the husband, for unexplicable reasons, began
to sob uncontrollably.  His wife, with concern, asked him gently, "Honey, why
are you crying?"

The old man said softly through sniffles, "Remember when your daddy caught us
out on your back porch when we first started seeing each other and he made you
leave?"  The wife nodded, replying, "Yes, I do-he made me go up to my room and
made you leave."

The man said, "Well, that's not entirely true.  I've never told you the whole
story.  See, after you left, your daddy told me that since he was the county
judge, he could kill me right there for messin' with you and he could get away
with it.  But since he was in a good mood, he gave me three choices: I could
either marry you, he could shoot me right there or he could send me to jail for
50 years."

The wife said, "You did the right thing, honey, but why are you crying?"

The man replied, "I just realized I'd be getting out today!"

<G>

MMMMM----- Recipe via Meal-Master (tm) v8.06

      Title: Alcohol Substitutions
 Categories: Info
      Yield: 1 Info

      1    Info

  Amaretto: Almond extract. (Substitute 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon almond
  extract for 2 tablespoons Amaretto.)

  Anisette: Anise Italian soda syrup or fennel.

  Beer: Chicken broth, beef broth, mushroom broth, white grape
  juice, ginger ale.

  Bourbon: 1 1/2 to 2 teaspoons of non-alcoholic vanilla extract.

  Brandy: Water, white grape juice, apple cider or apple juice,
  diluted peach or apricot syrups. (Substitute equal amounts
  of liquid.)

  Champagne: Ginger ale, sparkling apple cider, sparkling cranberry
  juice, or sparkling white grape juice.

  Cointreau: Orange juice or frozen orange juice concentrate.

  Coffee Liqueur: To replace 2 tablespoons of liqueur, use 1/2 to 1
  teaspoon of chocolate extract mixed with 1 teaspoon of instant coffee,
  which has been mixed in 2 tablespoons of water. Can also substitute
  expresso, non-alcoholic coffee extract or coffee syrup.

  Cognac: Juice from peaches, apricots, or pears.

  Creme de menthe: Spearmint extract or oil of spearmint diluted with a
  little water or grapefruit juice.

  Grand Marnier or Orange-Flavored Liqueur: Unsweetened orange juice
  concentrate or orange juice. (Substitute 2 tablespoons unsweetened
  orange juice concentrate or 2 tablespoons orange juice and 1/2
  teaspoon orange extract for 2 tablespoons Grand Marnier.)

  Kahlua: Coffee or chocolate-flavored liqueur. (Substitute 1/2 to 1
  teaspoon chocolate extract or substitute 1/2 to 1 teaspoon instant
  coffee in 2 tablespoons water for 2 tablespoons Kahlua.)

  Kirsch: Syrup or juices from cherries, raspberries, boysenberries,
  currants, or cider. (Substitute equal amounts of liquid.)

  Peppermint Schnapps: Non-alcoholic mint or peppermint extract, mint
  Italian soda syrup, or mint leaves.

  Port Wine, Sweet Sherry, or Fruit-Flavored Liqueur): Orange juice or
  apple juice. (Substitute equal amount of liquid.)

  Rum (light or dark): Water, white grape juice, pineapple juice, apple
  juice or apple cider, or syrup flavored with almond extract.
  (Substitute equal amounts of liquid.)

  Sake: Rice vinegar.

  Sherry or Bourbon: Orange or pineapple juices, peach syrup, or
  non-alcoholic vanilla extract. (Substitute equal amount of liquid 1
  to 2 teaspoons vanilla extract.)

  Southern Comfort: Peach flavored nectar combined with a small amount
  of cider vinegar.

  Tequila: Cactus juice or nectar.

  Triple Sec: Orange juice concentrate, orange juice, orange zest or
  orange marmalade.

  Vermouth, Dry: White grape juice, white wine vinegar, or non-alcoholic
  white wine.

  Vermouth, Sweet: Apple juice, grape juice, balsamic vinegar,
  non-alcoholic sweet wine, or water with lemon juice.

  Whiskey: If a small amount is called for, it can be eliminated.

  Vodka: White grape juice or apple cider combined with lime juice or
  use plain water in place of the vodka.

  Gewurztraminer: White grape juice combined with lemon juice.

  Grappa: Grape juice.

  Port Wine: Concord grape juice with some lime zest added, cranberry
  juice with some lemon juice added, or grape juice concentrate.
  Substitute orange juice or apple juice for lighter ports.

  Red Wine: Red grape juice, cranberry juice, chicken broth, beef broth,
  vegetable broth, clam juice, fruit juices, flavored vinegar.
  (Substitute equal amount of liquid.)

  White Wine: Water, chicken broth, vegetable broth, white grape juice,
  ginger ale, white grape juice.

  Sweet White Wine: White grape juice plus 1 tablespoons Karo corn
  syrup. (Substitute equal amount of liquid.)

  From: http://whatscookingamerica.net/alcoholsub.htm - MM'd by Sean
  Dennis on 3 January 2009 for the Fidonet COOKING echo.

MMMMM

Later,
Sean

//sean@nsbbs.info | http://nsbbs.info | ICQ: 19965647

... I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
--- GoldED/2 3.0.1
 * Origin: Nocturnal State BBS - Johnson City, TN - nsbbs.info (1:18/200)