Text 24956, 148 rader
Skriven 2009-06-14 08:12:00 av Dave Drum (1:124/311)
     Kommentar till en text av JIM WELLER
Ärende: Stuff White People like 1
=================================
-=> JIM WELLER wrote to SEAN DENNIS <=-

 JW> See how many you are guilty of:

 JW> #126 Vespa Scooters - Nope. I do real motorsickles
 JW> #125 Bob Marley - Naaaaah
 JW> #124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy - Who he?
 JW> #123 Mad Men - Alfred E. Neumann and Don Martin
 JW> #122 Moleskine Notebooks - ???
 JW> #121 Funny or Ironic Tattoos - Yes
 JW> #120 Taking a Year Off - Unemployment compensation is your friend
 JW> #119 Sea Salt - Nope
 JW> #118 Ugly Sweater Parties - ???
 JW> #117 Political Prisoners - All prisoners are political
 JW> #116 Black Music - Music has colour?
 JW> #115 Promising to Learn a New Language - I can order a beer or ask for the
bathroom in several languages
 JW> #114 America - Is just alright with me.
 JW> #113 Halloween - Is a horrid series of movies.
 JW> #112 Hummus - Middle eastern guacamole
 JW> #111 Pea Coats - When I can find one
 JW> #110 Frisbee Sports - I don't do any sports
 JW> #109 The Onion - great yuppie satrire
 JW> #108 Appearing to Enjoy Classical Music - especially when you really like
it.
 JW> #107 Self Aware Hip Hop References - Been no decent hip-hop since
Sugarhill Gang
 JW> #106 Facebook - ???
 JW> #105 Unpaid Internships - I don't work for free.
 JW> #104 Girls with Bangs - and girls that bang
 JW> #103 Sweaters - can keep you warm
 JW> #102 Children's Games as Adults - better than adult games for children
 JW> #101 Being Offended - not easily
 JW> #100 Bumper Stickers - removable only
 JW> #99 Grammar - mine is dead. So is grammpar
 JW> #98 The Ivy League - Ivy is a parasite, innit?
 JW> #97 Scarves - No
 JW> #96 New Balance Shoes - I can fall off of those, too.
 JW> #95 Rugby - requires leather balls. I don't play sports
 JW> #94 Free Healthcare - YES!!!
 JW> #93 Music Piracy - Depends on your definition.
 JW> #92 Book Deals - at the used book store.
 JW> #91 San Francisco - Is still there.
 JW> #90 Dinner Parties - can be fun if someone else hosts
 JW> #89 St. Patrick's Day - is March 17. Wear ORANGE!
 JW> #88 Having Gay Friends - or gay relatives
 JW> #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes - depends on where you are performing.
 JW> #86 Shorts - are hazardous to your electric bill.
 JW> #85 The Wire - can cause shorts.
 JW> #84 T-Shirts - be default.
 JW> #83 Bad Memories of High School - any memories of high school.
 JW> #82 Hating Corporations - Which ones?
 JW> #81 Graduate School - Yes, I did.
 JW> #80 The Idea of Soccer - I don't play sports
 JW> #79 Modern Furniture - Mine is still servicable
 JW> #78 Multilingual Children - OK
 JW> #77 Musical Comedy - Much music is hilarious
 JW> #76 Bottles of Water - are great for storage.
 JW> #75 Threatening to Move to Canada - been there. Good health care system.
Funny accent.
 JW> #74 Oscar Parties - get Rogered
 JW> #73 Gentrification - ???
 JW> #72 Study Abroad - or several broads
 JW> #71 Being the only white person around - not in North America
 JW> #70 Difficult Breakups - Every spring.
 JW> #69 Mos Def - ???
 JW> #68 Michel Gondry - ???
 JW> #67 Standing Still at Concerts - I tend to sit in my seat.
 JW> #66 Divorce - I used to be divorced, but she died. Now, I'm a widower.
 JW> #65 Co-Ed Sports - Yepper
 JW> #64 Recycling - Coming back from where you cycled?
 JW> #63 Expensive Sandwiches - Not in the places I eat. 
 JW> #62 Knowing What's Best for Poor People - Well, yeah, I are one.
 JW> #61 Bicycles - great for recycling back from where you went.
 JW> #60 Toyota Prius - Pretention on four wheels.
 JW> #59 Natural Medicine - Naturally
 JW> #58 Japan - Is west of Russia 
 JW> #57 Juno - Was married to Zeus
 JW> #56 Lawyers - are more fun than Skeet.
 JW> #55 Apologies - to H. L. Mencken
 JW> #54 Kitchen Gadgets - can be good
 JW> #53 Dogs - I'm a cat person.
 JW> #52 Sarah Silverman - ???
 JW> #51 Living by the Water - Smells like spoiled fish and rotted seaweed
 JW> #50 Irony - Life is ironic 
 JW> #49 Vintage - wine or motorcycles?
 JW> #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops - Co-ops - YES!!! 
 JW> #47 Arts Degrees - I have an MA
 JW> #46 The Sunday New York Times - has a great crossword puzzle
 JW> #45 Asian Fusion Food - is tasty sometimes
 JW> #44 Public Radio - but, of course
 JW> #43 Plays - I don't play sports
 JW> #42 Sushi - I LIKE rice
 JW> #41 Indie Music - I like music
 JW> #40 Apple Products - Steve Jobs is a dick
 JW> #39 Netflix - ???
 JW> #38 Arrested Development - only if you break the law.
 JW> #37 Renovations - it's called maintenance
 JW> #36 Breakfast Places - often serve pancakes
 JW> #35 The Daily Show/Colbert - ???
 JW> #34 Architecture - computer or building?
 JW> #33 Marijuana - I'm allergic
 JW> #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism - for those who can't catch meat.
 JW> #31 Snowboarding - ???
 JW> #30 Wrigley Field - See Ivy League
 JW> #29 80s Night - ???
 JW> #28 Not having a TV - I seldom play mine
 JW> #27 Marathons - done by other people
 JW> #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too) - I don't care for the Rotten Apple
 JW> #25 David Sedaris - Fortunately there is more than one PBS station on my
pre-sets
 JW> #24 Wine - is a great goodness
 JW> #23 Microbreweries - as well as beer factories
 JW> #22 Having Two Last Names - that's a contradiciton in terms
 JW> #21 Writers Workshops - can often be used to make bookshelves
 JW> #20 Being an expert on YOUR cult-chuh - yeast or yoghurt?
 JW> #19 Traveling - when I have a definite destination
 JW> #18 Awareness - keeps you from barking your shins
 JW> #17 Hating their Parents - not me.
 JW> #16 Gifted Children - better than sold children
 JW> #15 Yoga - was he a puppet in a Star Wars episode?
 JW> #14 Having Black Friends - or any friends at all
 JW> #13 Tea - or Coffee
 JW> #12 Non-Profit Organizations - My last company was one. That's why it's
out of business.
 JW> #11 Asian Girls - are girls
 JW> #10 Wes Anderson Movies - ???
 JW> #09 Outdoor adventures - with most any agreeable girl.
 JW> #08 Barack Obama - is my President (hooray)
 JW> #07 Diversity - in outdoor adventures
 JW> #06 Organic Food - all food is organic.
 JW> #05 Farmer's Markets - are wonderful
 JW> #04 Assists - include Viagra, Cialis and Levitra
 JW> #03 Film Festivals - why?
 JW> #02 Religions their parents don't belong to - I don't belong to any
religion
 JW> #01 Coffee - or tea?

ENJOY!!!

From Uncle Dirty Dave's Kitchen
Home of YAHOOOOAHHHH Hot Sauce & Hardin Cider 

 

... There is nothing more demoralising than a small but adequate income.
--- MultiMail/Win32 v0.49
 * Origin: FidoTel & QWK on the Web! www.fidotel.com (1:124/311)