Text 4753, 142 rader
Skriven 2008-03-30 23:17:00 av JOAN MACDIARMID (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av CAROL SHENKENBERGER
Ärende: Sweets and guilt
========================
 Hi, Carol,

 >CS> in this house, normally the second half of a pie gets
 >That's why I haven't made many pies for some years.
 >I cannot eat one before much of it goes bad,

 CS> Same here even with 3 of us.

 That surprises me, but I know you are not as fond
 of sweet things. Don, either, though? And your
 earlier "flock attacks" could have polished off
 multiple pies, from your tales of them.

 > days of my work situation, I had quite a few
 >  friends among the graduate students and staff of
 >  the department, and would make pies and bring them
 >  to work, along with paper plates and plastic forks,
 >  leave them on the table in our little lunch room,
 >  and walk around to tell people there were goodies
 >  and they were welcome to help themselves when they
 >  had time. That way I could have some and not worry

 CS> Hehe I've done stuff like that with non-sweets many a time!

 It's a fun way to share without infringing on
 other friends' schedules and commitments. I have
 shared their birthday cakes and such in the same
 spirit.

 > Can't do that any more, as
 > a reorganization moved most of the research groups
 > over to another building, leaving just a few of us
 > behind, and most of the biggest group is now Egyptians
 > who tend not to socialize with us non-Muslims, and
 > rarely will eat with us. Oh, well.

 CS> Too bad, nice folks i am sure but not willing to eat with ones of the
 CS> not same tradition.

 Some are quite nice, some not. But that's the same
 with all populations. When there were just 1 or
 2 Egyptians around, in fact, they often did lunch
 with the rest of us, when research schedules allowed.
 But now that there are 4 of them, they tend to clique
 together, also drawing in others from other
 departments, so they have their own society. (BTW,
 knowing the local society included not only Muslims
 but a Jain, I would make a point to tell if the fat
 in the pie included animal sources, and make the
 point to use only vegetable fats. In this context,
 it is a matter of courtesy.)

 >>  I guess the relations between Moms and daughters are
 >>  often problematic.
 >  CS> Some more so than others.
 >  You have to let your baby birds out of the nest when
 >  they are ready to fly, though. I suspect you will have
 >  more success in liberating Charlotte when it's time,

 CS> Charlotte's apt to bust out on her own and her cage as such, is
 CS> lightly tied as it is.

 >  though. You have had ship duty on and off all her life,
 >  so you have gotten comfortable with the idea that she
 >  and Don can make their own decisions without disaster.

 CS> Charlotte will have more problems detaching from Don I suspect due to
 CS> the ages when I was away (sad smile).

 Emotional detachment isn't the problem. The idea that
 you have to run a child's life forever is. I still
 love my Mom, but I don't want her trying to run my
 life any more. In your case, sounds like you trained
 Charlotte to assert advice to Don in the shopping
 trips, so maybe he will be relieved to be free to
 shop without her controls (just yours!) even while
 he misses her.

 >  CS> Grin, she's an 'alpha'. Thats ok. Just takes time to work them down
 >  CS> to a more suitable 'sharing is good' pattern.
 >
 >  Sometimes she "shares" too much. She often forces canned
 >  goods on me she bought during the year for when I came

 CS> Ah but we all (you too) know it's an 'I love you'
 CS> statement, even if a bit overdone in the size of the bag <g>.

 Yes, but it's also an excuse to exercise her
 "over-shopping" habit (the basement is filled
 with canned goods anyway), and an "I know what's
 good for you" statement.

 >  at Christmas. This year it was the Campbell's ready-to-eat
 >  soups, because I'd mentioned an interest in them, as an
 >  occasional "take-to-work" option when I had nothing else.

 CS> I get those too for work and have a few.

 >  So she got to shop sales and use coupons and saved up
 >  several sacks of them! I don't want my Mom choosing my
 >  lunches for me any more! She acted all hurt when I said
 >  I didn't want them, so I took them, but told her gently
 >  to "Knock it off!" And now I have those sacks sitting on
 >  my tiny kitchen's floor, because I have no place to store
 >  them.

 CS> hehehe food kitchen donation.

 No, I will use them, eventually. Those are
 luxury goods to me, not to be discarded, but
 I don't need them very often. One came in handy
 last week when I didn't have lunch fixings
 because I was nearly out of bread. They aren't
 bad products per se, they fill a need I sometimes
 need filled. But I don't want to be made a
 dependent of my Mom while I can support myself.

 >  CS> Check the local asian place where you are.
 >  I am afraid I would buy stuff! I should make a tour

 CS> Thats ok, most of what you will 'buy' will be fresh green stuff i bet.
 CS> Nopt much cost and do the trip when your larder is LOW then price
 CS> check.  Figure in a secondary trip on the way home to another place you
 CS> are used to for the stuff you do not find there (or can get cheaper at
 CS> regular place).  Flour for example isnt a good bet there.  Nor is cheap
 CS> american rice types.

 My first stop for fresh stuff is the Farmers Market,
 where I am most likely to be benefiting local
 producers. Even if they participate in buying
 a few crates of non-local stuff to hawk alongside
 their own stuff. I know the grapefruits I get from
 Sanger Farms aren't local, but the apples they
 sell are, and are always good. And they can sell
 grapefruits in the market way cheaper (2/$1 vs
 4/$5 at Wegmans). The apples are fair, too at $1.50
 for, hmm, about 6 med-lg Jonagolds.

 Joan
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