Text 3109, 111 rader
Skriven 2010-10-25 21:37:19 av Ruth Haffly (1:396/45.28)
   Kommentar till text 2986 av Nancy Backus (1:261/1381.0)
Ärende: keeping busy
====================
Hi Nancy,

 NB> Add (possible)  RH>> health issues to that and I wouldn't blame her in
 NB> the least for wanting  RH>> to take the easy way out from time to
 NB>  NB>> Even at my age, I begin to appreciate more of those factors..

 RH> Same here, especially on days we've got so much else going on.  I've

 NB> Yup, busy-ness is often a factor in having other things become
 NB> overwhelming... and tiredness...  If I've had a long day, and Richard
 NB> got home before me and fell asleep, I don't feel much like cooking
 NB> anything unless I'm more starving than tired... and maybe not even
 NB> then. Epsecially when chances are that he's not going to even want to
 NB> eat
 NB> either...  ;/

I understand. A few weeks ago we came home from church on Sunday night
late enough that we didn't want anything much to eat but needed
something since we'd not eaten since a late-ish (about 2pm) dinner.  All
we did was pop up some pop corn--it filled us enough to satisfy us
without putting a lot into our stomachs so close to bed time.

 NB>  NB>> she is now living, it's a senior apartment building, and she

 RH> My parents could use something like that but it's unlikely they will
 RH> ever do it. Too much stuff and they don't want to move away from where
 RH> they're living now.

 NB> It makes a difference whether one has had their own house or has been
 NB> living in apartments all along, I think.  This lady has been in
 NB> apartments probably all her life... most recently had moved from a
 NB> townhouse type to a flat that wasn't really any better.  The townhouse

My parents have lived in a house all their married life except the first
year. It shows too, as kids left home, the empty spaces were filled with
Mom's and Dad's things.  We may need a dumpster to clean the place when
they pass away.


 NB> had stairs inside, but one was in charge of their own front door, and
 NB> that was a straight step out.  Mail was in a centralized location down
 NB> the sidewalk, outside.  The newer place was a flat, but there was

 NB> (and had she been given an apartment on the second floor, there's an
 NB> elevator), there are no stairs at all in or out, mailboxes are inside,
 NB> near the common room and main entrance, and if she has visitors, she
 NB> can buzz them in from her phone in her apartment.  There's also staff
 NB> around most of the time, and maintenance that can be called at any

Sounds like she has a good set up now. I would like my parents to
consider something like that but doubt they will.  If Dad goes first,
either someone (probably my younger brother) would move in with her or
one of us would have to take her in.  Dad could probably maintain his
independence a bit longer but eventually would need some sort of
assistance.

 NB> Now, my neighbor, on the other hand, has invested herself into the
 NB> house she has owned for 40 years, has lots of stuff that makes it home
 NB> for
 NB> her, and for her, apartment living, however nice and geared to her
 NB> situation, just wouldn't make the grade for her.  She's even done some

I can't see my parents doing so either.

 NB> real thinking about it over the years, and decided that she really
 NB> wants to stay where she is.  So the answer there is to get as much
 NB> support
 NB> into the house as she needs to be able to maintain herself there.
 NB> Meals on Wheels is just one part of that.  :)  Having aides come in to
 NB> help
 NB> with personal care, light housekeeping and to make sure she eats and
 NB> takes her meds properly is another part, along with some mods to the
 NB> environment there (a powder room in a closet downstairs, grab bars and
 NB> such for the upstairs bath) and getting her out to an adult day

My parents have made some of the changes needed, but not nearly all that
should be done.  Probably one of the better things was my brother
'bullying" them into getting a Life Alert type system put in after Dad
broke his hip.  We've tried to encourage them to keep the cordless phone
with them in the living room when they're there (most other places
there's easier access to a phone) but the idea hasn't "taken" yet. Maybe
it will in time.

 NB> program a couple days a week (which she was sure she'd hate, but now
 NB> she likes, since she can be of help to others there that aren't doing
 NB> as well as
 NB> she is)...  And having a neighbor to do her grocery shopping for her
 NB> for now... I'm hoping she'll get strong enough soon to be able to come

My parents do their own shopping, Dad riding a cart and Mom walking,
holding onto a buggy for all she's worth. Dad doesn't trust her to
"drive" a cart but the walking isn't good for her in a lot of ways
either.  She's the one that has to reach to the upper shelves but has so
much pain doing so.

 NB> along...  :)   That's probably more where your parents are, too.

Closer to that than wanting to live in an papartment.  There's a lot of
problems to be dealt with still to allow them to do so tho.


---
Catch you later,
Ruth
rchaffly{at}earthlink{dot}net  FIDO 1:396/45.28


... A truly wise person knows that he knows not.

--- PPoint 3.01
 * Origin: Sew! That's My Point (1:396/45.28)