Text 31327, 101 rader
Skriven 2012-03-21 14:02:00 av Glen Jamieson (9236.cooking)
     Kommentar till en text av Dave Drum
Ärende: SILENT SERVICE 20321
============================
 -=> Quoting Dave Drum to Glen Jamieson <=-

 DD> "The best defense is a good offense". -- Carl von Clausewitz (also B.
 DD> A. Barracus)
 GJ> Switzerland's way works better.

 DD> Which way is that? Every male citizen is subject to a term in the
 DD> military and then remains in the reserve all his life? Or renting out

The Swiss way is to avoid participating in wars.  (Except to make
money out of them.)  The restriction of national service to men is
sexist; Israel includes all the young women as well.  As far as I
know, personal ownership of firearms is not allowed.  All weapons held
by the citizens are owned by the military.

 DD> your troops as mercenaries disguised as palace guards? Or were you

I doubt if the Swiss Guards would be of much use in repelling a
determined air attack by Israeli fighter-bombers on the Vatican.

 DD> perhaps referring to the Swiss navy, a fleet of military lake patrol
 DD> boats?  
 DD> Or, perhaps you were referring to Swiss Navy Lubricants? 
 DD> http://www.cheaplubes.com/swiss-navy-lubricant.aspx

In my innocence, I went to the trouble of starting up my internet
computer to see what that was....  (Sigh!)  I should have guessed.
And I won't ask you why it was called, "Swiss Navy"!
 
 GJ> Of course, if USA decided to attack Australia in retaliation for
 GJ> putting beetroot into hamburgers, we would all have to retire to the
 GJ> outback, out of range of torpedoes.

 DD> But not out of the range of submarine launched cruise missiles. Or, if
 DD> we still
 DD> have them things launched from a Trident-class submarine.

I thought the Tridents carried ICBMs, not cruise missiles.  In any
case, we could all spread out, so hardly anyone would be hit.  Unless,
of course, someone opened a pub, which would attract the populace like
ants to a tin of treacle.  Then, one accurately placed ICBM would wipe
out the entire population of Australia.

MMMMM----- Recipe via Meal-Master (tm) v8.05
 
      Title: The Straight Goods on Treacle, Golden Syrup and Cocky's J
 Categories: British, Australian, Info, Humour
      Yield: 1 Text file
 
           Treacle
           Golden syrup
           Cocky's joy
 
  In the UK, molasses is unrefined or nearly-unrefined goo straight
  from the plant.  Inedibly overwhelming taste of burnt toffee with the
  mouth feel of superglue.  Most of it goes to animal feed with a small
  fraction sold in health food shops or other places catering for very
  obscure sadomasochistic practices.  Any attempt to pour it will
  result in a stalactite of black gloop running down the side of the
  jar, which, since you only use this stuff once every five years, will
  set hard enough that you need a cold chisel to get it off.  The
  Victorians used to give it to children, probably to punish them for
  masturbating.
  
  Treacle is slightly refined.  It's still dark brown but in a
  sufficiently thin layer you can see through it.  Used for making some
  kinds of heavy, sweet puddings.  It only takes five minutes after you
  invert the tin before it starts dripping out.  Invariably forms a
  ring of sweetened rust round the lid.  The tins are usually red and
  black.
  
  Golden syrup is still more refined.  Urine-coloured and generally
  used for pouring over piles of starchy stodge.  Pours easily enough
  that you invariably get twice as much out of the tin as you wanted;
  it drips off the spoon leaving a line of sugar across the kitchen for
  ants to follow. This time the ring of sweetened rust forms where it's
  dripped down the side of the tin gluing it to the shelf along with a
  compacted deposit of tea leaves and dead flies.  The tin is
  invariably green with a drawing of a rotting lion and an
  incomprehensible Bible quotation on it.
  
  Jack Campin
  
  Golden syrup (Tate and Lyle is a famous manufacturer in UK), is
  sometimes known in Australia as Cocky's Joy (an allusion to it being
  the favorite sweetener of small farming families, ironically
  characterized as cockatoo (or cocky) farmers. This is very sweet and
  the colour of honey.
  
  Richard Wright
  
  rec.food.cooking
 
MMMMM
 

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