Text 21393, 47 rader
Skriven 2014-12-02 13:58:00 av Janet Wilder
     Kommentar till en text av Dave Smith
Ärende: Re: Left-over Pie, etc.
===============================
On 12/2/2014 1:30 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2014-12-02 1:03 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>> On 12/2/2014 10:12 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>
>>> Funny, but a few days ago I commented something to the effect that
>>> knowing the cause doesn't make it easy to deal with the behaviour and
>>> the response about my lack of understanding of mental illness. Sometimes
>>> they being depressed makes them depressing to be around. It seldom helps
>>> to be upfront and to tell them they are depressing. They will not
>>> appreciate it.
>>
>> Okay, Dave, since you are the degreed expert, I have a question and I am
>> hoping you can share your wisdom.
>>
>> I have a friend who is a gentleman of 83 years of age.  He lost his wife
>> in February to pancreatic cancer.  We would sometimes meet them at the
>> chemo facility.
>>
>> He has decided to make me his "project" since Barry's death.  He calls
>> me to cheer me up and winds up crying about missing Shirley Ann most of
>> the time.  Of course I offer sympathy and a shoulder.
>>
>> At times, it's very difficult for me to deal with him, but I do out of a
>> sense of friendship.  This man has been very good to me and the last
>> thing I want to do is hurt his feelings.
>>
>> My question is:  how do I prevent myself from getting upset when he is
>> crying on my shoulder?
>>
>
>
> I said I had a degree. I didn't say I had a doctorate or that I do
> counseling.  I would suggest that you are not really his project. You
> are his life line. He is not as interested in sharing your grief with
> him as he is in sharing his grief with you. Perhaps you can tell hm that
> you feel that you gain more comfort from talking with friends and family
> who knew Barry and that perhaps he should discuss his feelings with
> people he knew his wife, perhaps even seek grief counseling for him.
>

He knew Barry and I knew Shirley Ann.

--
 From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

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