Text 24262, 108 rader
Skriven 2015-02-21 09:47:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
Ärende: airport food 248
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I found myself at DCA at 6 in the morning and needed
something to eat, and Ben's Chili Bowl was open, and
God help me, I got a bowl of chili. Concentrated and
without the moderating influences of a hot dog or
the canonic half-smoke or even rice or French fries,
it turns out to be even nastier than I remembered
it. Still, it was better than an egg burrito (at
Qdoba, the only other place open). The chili has a
fair amount of ground beef (more meat than beans)
and is reasonably hot spicy, though it is starch-
thickened and has big (as in up to 1 1/2" square)
chunks of green pepper. Next time I'm this hungry
at the airport at this hour, I'll have to wrestle
again with the hope and experience issue. The menu,
perhaps due for an overhaul, states "people often
think of Bill Cosby when they think of Ben's because
he has been such an enthusiastic friend and supporter
since the beginning." Ah, well.

So again it was really early, maybe 7 in the morning,
and I'm a glutton for punishment, but the early flights
are 50 to 100 cheaper than the primetime ones, plus
there's usually upgrade space, because true first-class
passengers don't want to wake up at 3 in the morning.
So the choices were the hated Qdoba and the almost as
hated Ben's. Or going hungry, which was not an option
on account of the scantiness of the larder at the house.
So degree of hatred being as it was, Ben's again. I
got the half-smoke without chili (having learned my
lesson about the chili). This is a coarse-ground sour
chorizolike sausage - vinegar and paprika are the main,
perhaps the only, flavors; there is, despite the name,
nary a hint of smoke aroma. So to add appeal what do they
do - burn the heck out of it, the newfound char providing
a new dimension of taste. Squishy somewhat sweet bun as
you usually get, not toasted, so sort of like raw dough.
I forget what this epicurean adventure cost the last time,
but this time it was $7 and change. Filled my belly for
what would normally have been long enough.

But my flight was cancelled. Three of them were, in fact.

Still lusting after canine goodness, I stumbled upon
Aunt Annie's, which was offering a jumbo dog wrapped in
pretzel plus a Coke for $6 (plus 10% tax) or two regular
dogs wrapped in pretzel without sugar water for the same.
I inspected the offerings - there was one jumbo dog
left - there had been a lot of cancellations -, and the
ends peeking out of the ends of the pretzel wrap were
gray and shrivelled. So I went for the two regular dogs,
advertised as Nathan's. The pretzel outside is sweet
rather than salty! I guess this makes up for the lack of
ketchup, which would be difficult to apply on such a
presentation. And Nathan's aren't what they used to be -
still plenty of garlic, but the dogginess reminded me more
of a ballpark than a good Kosher frank. I took this haul
to the phone booths converted into work carrels out near
security and wolfed them down before heading to my 12:30
reschedule. I'd been originally on a plane at 8:30, but
you know US Air and its system of rolling cancellations -
all the other airlines had proactively cancelled all
their flights and rebooked the passengers, so the airport
was full of US Air passengers waiting for flights that got
delayed and delayed and then poof. Someone had booked
me on a 1:30, but, smarty me, there was room on the 12:30
in first class, so I jumped on that. Well. 12:30 came and
went, so I asked an agent if it would make sense for me
to move back to the 1:30. Well, she said, the 1:30 is
going out at 1:40, and this one is planned at 1:49, so do
you want to give up first class for a middle seat in coach
(all that was left by now) for 9 minutes? OK, I said, fine,
I'll stick with what I've got. Wrong answer. 1:30 came and
went, as did the 1:30 plane. 1:49 came and went; there was
an announcement about one cabin attendant being delayed
by another flight, so as soon as she gets in, we'll start
to board. A bit later a sad-looking pilot came out and the
announcement was made - the plane had gone mechanical, and
please go to customer service to be rebooked. By the time
I got there the line was maybe 50. So, thanking my lucky
stars for still having a couple club lounge passes left, I
hightailed it there, where the rebooking line was shorter,
to wit, a baby-faced Chinese guy and an old Chinese guy.
The other guy turned angrily to me and said, can you believe
there's no elite line (he meant downstairs at customer
service)! I'm more important than these people! He actually
came right out and said it, a breach of etiquette. Seeing my
dubious look, he complained "I spend a hundred thousand
dollars a year on this airline, and I paid for first class,
and I'm going to get first class." The agent at the counter,
who is notoriously moody but was doing her best to hold it,
said, but there's no first class left (after all, they'd
been pushing passengers down since 6 (the first flight,
which had of course been cancelled). I tried to calm him down
and explain away his tirade to the agent by commiserating
about the huge line downstairs. Eventually he was done with,
and the agent took my details and typed a few secret things
into the computer, and gave me a boarding pass with a smug
look on her face, whispering to me, I got you first class.

I boarded late just in case my colleague had been stuck in
coach, and I wouldn't want him to see me in 3F and saying
"but the b---- at the club said there weren't any more seats
in first," but it turns out he had finagled his way to 2C,
and all was well. Last I noticed he was transacting business
loudly on his phone.
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