Text 862, 162 rader
Skriven 2013-04-29 01:59:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av JIM WELLER
Ärende: Recent tastes 475
=========================
 -=> Jim Weller said to All <=-

 JW> Phardpounder's Elixir: A new hot sauce, a gag gift from my step son.
 JW> I just hate, hate, hate corny hot sauce names, especially ones
 JW> with scatological references, but this one tastes so good I have to
 JW> give it a positive review anyway

I like scatological references, but find cutesy names of just
about anything, including wine, irritating.

 : it goes by the unlikely name of
 JW> Professor Phardpounder's Colon Cleaner, A New & Improved All
 JW> Natural Elixir of Capsaicin Extremus. The label emulates a 19th
 JW> century patent medicine bottle complete with a severe looking old
 JW> white dude in a frock coat and stiff collar, and sporting a pointed
 JW> white beard. The contents turn out to be a nicely flavoured, quite
 JW> hot but not stupidly deadly, mustard and Scotch bonnet sauce. It's

It's rather a pity that the shit marketing concept conceals
a decent product. Makes one distrust one's judgment for a
moment or two.

 JW> quite different than the Barbados style mustard based hot sauces I
 JW> am used to, mellower and less harsh. That's probably because the
 JW> label's ingredient list starts off with red wine vinegar and Dijon
 JW> mustard. It's not only tasty on it's own, it will make a great jerk
 JW> sauce ingredient.            

Over the years I've gone toward simplicity in my sauces -
and even in those dark days long past I don't think I ever
put more than 5 ingredients in a sauce. Then the progression
was to peppers, vinegar, and salt; now it's equally simple
but has more ingredients:

Hot stuff
category: condiment, sauce, mine
yield: 1 batch

3 Tb red pepper flakes
1/3 c neutral oil
1 garlic clove, minced fine - more to taste
2 Tb cayenne
salt
splash white wine

In a deepish pot that seems much too large for the task,
dry-toast the pepper flakes until fragrant over medium heat.
Off heat, add oil and garlic. If you are going to use this
as a sauce, use lots more garlic. Return to low heat and let
simmer until garlic just begins to color. Add cayenne. Salt
to taste. Turn the pot 45 degrees and add the wine, so the
wine gets covered by the maximum amount of oil. Off heat,
return pot to horizontal. If used as a sauce, heat over high
heat until very hot and pour over pasta. If to be used as a
condiment, let cool to room temperature before using.

Source: moi

 JW> Homemade HP sauce: tomato sauce and molasses based with some apple
 JW> sauce and orange zest thrown in. A blend of HP spices as per hints
 JW> from the label plus typical BBQ sauce and ketchup spices. Perhaps a
 JW> little extra cayenne. Definitely less sugar overall and no HFCS
 JW> whatsoever. What makes it totally killer was finding packets of
 JW> tamarind paste at the Asian store; it's sour flavour is what makes
 JW> HP so special.

In the absence of tamarind, use raisins macerated in vinegar
and then whizzed in a blender. I have a soft spot for 57 Sauce,
which I believe actually has raisins in it.

 JW> Black mustard: I washed out the dregs of some French's, some coarse
 JW> grained German, some Dijon and some Colman's hot from the bottom of
 JW> their bottles with white vinegar and added some crushed kalonji
 JW> (black onion or black cumin) seeds. The result was thin, hot, sour
 JW> and bitter, not to everyone's taste but I made a killer cauliflower
 JW> curry with some of it.

Cauliflower curry is more murderer than killer, but let that pass.

 JW> Tapioca pud variations: I haven't had tapioca pudding since I was a
 JW> kid but came across some large old fashioned pearls and a nostalgic
 JW> feeling came over me so I bought them. Standard tapioca pudding made
 JW> my mom's way (probably from an old Fanny Farmer cookbook or similar)
 JW> is deadly bland and boring but it can become interesting if played
 JW> with. Instead of milk consider light cream or coconut milk; sub
 JW> demerara sugar for white, instead of raisins, consider lemon zest,
 JW> gogi berries, dried cranberries and/or chopped dates; instead of
 JW> vanilla add dark rum, brandy or Bourbon. Garnish with coconut, fresh
 JW> fruit and whipped cream.

I absolutely lerve standard tapioca pudding; perhaps it's the
clarion call of the forbidden. Made with good quality vanilla,
it's a wonderful thing. On the rare occasions I've made it
myself, I've doubled the vanilla, which makes it way different
from bland and boring.

 I've decided I liked TP after making a
 JW> coconut milk, date and rum one spooned over bananas and a brown
 JW> sugar, cream. lemon, brandy and raisin one. My next batch will
 JW> somehow involve chocolate and Roslind plans on a Bailey's Irish
 JW> Cream version.

Coconut milk is a good idea, especially for the likes of me.

 JW> Apothic white: A gift from a well meaning niece. I also hate, hate,
 JW> hate fake back history for brand new products created by PR types.

Indeed. And the wine itself, I can speak only for the red,
is a caricature.

 JW> The label goes on and on about how "more than 800 years ago,
 JW> vintners blended and stored their most coveted concoctions in a
 JW> mysterious place called Apotheca." This stuff is a highly scented
 JW> fruit bomb, not subtle or balanced in any way, rather sweet. The

The red is a little too sweet but actually lacks wine flavor.
Perhaps a touch of Moscato would have done it a bit of good.

 JW> label doesn't say this but it is a secret Gallo brand, the same
 JW> people who brought you Andres Cold Duck, Boone's Farm, Carlo Rossi,
 JW> Ecco Domani and the truly hideous bum wines Night Train and
 JW> Thunderbird. It's a Chardonnay, Riesling and Moscato blend.

Ecco Domani is not altogether bad, or was not last time I
had it; it is/was actually Italian in origin, though the
business enterprise is backed by Gallo.

 JW> Far tastier: pink muscato grapes from Chile. A new product here,
 JW> President's Choice, seedless. Very perfumy in a nice way.

Interesting. Hard to get even here in civilizationland.

 JW> Chili buffet: For Roslind's visiting rancher brother and wife, his
 JW> YK daughter (the bearer of Apothic), her husband and their four
 JW> kids, three of whom are triplets and therefore painfully cute. We
 JW> were asked to keep the chili extra mild for the kids' sake so we set
 JW> up a self serve buffet with Roslind's extra mild Texas style chili,
 JW> my spicy red beans, heavy on the cumin, my seasoned tomatoes, heavy
 JW> on the cayenne, tortilla chips, plain rice, mac and cheese, chopped
 JW> onions, assorted grated cheeses, lots of hot sauces and everyone
 JW> built their own meal. And so everyone was happy.

Everybody happy is good, even if everybody farts a lot.

Heinz 57 Sauce Copycat
category: condiment, sauce, copycat
Yield: 1 bottle

1/2 c raisins
2/3 c Heinz ketchup
1 ts chili powder
1 ts seasoning salt
4 oz applesauce
2 Tb Wish Bone Italian salad dressing

Put all ingredients in a blender and blend on/off
for 2 min on high or until smooth. Keep chilled.

Source: Lennie on food.com
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