Text 22077, 107 rader
Skriven 2006-01-12 19:01:09 av Carol Shenkenberger (6:757/1)
  Kommentar till text 21719 av Björn Forsström (2:203/614.61)
Ärende: Re: Editor's censorship
===============================
*** Quoting Björn Forsström from a message to Carol Shenkenberger ***

 CS> Frank, they are living in American culture there.  *Totally* different.
 CS> You are on 'home turf'.  I do not know how to describe the difference but
 CS> perhaps one of the folks who travel alot can help there.

BF> To be one of those who travels (obviously) I can't do anything else th
BF> To be here in Thailand is something totally different from being at ho
BF> I'm totally dependent on others and just have to follow their advice a
BF> to behave and it's nothing at all like home.

Yes.  What is acceptable there doesnt meet in every aspect what any other place
expects but the specifics will vary.  The Thai are more apt to be 'open' about
telling you what's ok if you bother to ask, than most places.  One you are
encountering (or have) is that it's NOT ok to be rude to a sex change person
just because the culture you have, doenst accept them (I am not saying that
yours does not, it may.  Americans have trouble with that one and we spend
lots of time warning the ship people about it).

If meeting a sexchange 'lady' bothers you, just be polite and say so in simple
non abusive ways like 'I'm sorry, it's not for me but I wish you well'.

 CS>> i have
 CS>> been in.  I make friends wherever I go.

BF> If you just behave normal and ask before you do anything there usually
BF> any problem.

True.  For the most part this is dead on.  There's a few frills that you learn
by living in a place long term about that specific area but the big one is to
smile at people and accept (ACCEPT) what you see.

FS>> attack me ... heh heh heh ... my attitude usually reflects the at
FS>> the participants in any echo.  People here tend to be intolerant.

 CS> People here react fast to intolerance.  There's a difference there.

BF> I agree.

He's not understanding it but not because he is stupid.  He lacks the
experience of living outside his culture zone of comfort.  Thats no slam, its
a true thing of most of us.  Because of that, many of us love to chat as best
as we can with folks of other zones to 'see vicariously what it may be like'.

Frank isnt a horrible person.  He's just what I am calling 'mono-cultural' and
that exists outside the USA as well as within it.

I was largely mono-cultural before I came out to Asia, so I can look back and
see it, in myself, in my own posts.  I am a little embarrassed about some of
the things I said and did now, back long ago, but I was not a 'meamie' (kid
word, mean person).  I just asked some questions and didnt understand the
answers that came back as other than what I was used to.  I 'tried' to accept
them but had not the experience to really understand what i was reading as the
answers.  The answers were not misleading.  I was misleading *myself* to try
to add things that were not there or just not listening to parts that I didnt
want to hear.

 CS>> be reaching to learn more outside of it but are stumbling a bit
 CS>> do at
 CS>> first.

FS>> Ha!  I think diplomacy is in your genes ...

 CS> Perhaps ;-)

BF> Shouldn't that be in us all?

Yes.  Especially in a conversation involving Europe, Asia, North America,
Africa, and OZ.  Thats something we all tend to forget at times.  I do not
pretend to be an expert with any of the above but I'm the only Asian in
Fidonet that most of you see, so I do my best there.

When presented with a choice in reply, I will normally assume if the message
questioned me in a rude way, that one of us misunderstood something and start
from there.  Oftener than not, this was the right tactic to use as it turned
out there was a mis-juncture someplace.


 CS>> While it isdoubtful you will ever rreach the point of having a l
 CS>> local
 CS>> shop keepers after a live eel escapes from your shopping cart in the
 CS>> middle of  an open air market or a sea cucumber fight, you'll do well
 CS>> enough if you listen
 CS>> to what the folks are actually saying.

FS>> I'm *far* more flexible than you seem to think ...

 CS> Perhaps.  I think there is hope for you.

BF> Let's hope so but so far he's far to agressive towards any that isn't

Yes, he is.  He doenst seem to realize that but it may come from something
else.  He's said he was prime poster in some politics related echo and kept
the traffic flowing well.  He may be stirring the pot to forment other
discussions but I think he means well and is just saying his mind in ways that
start conversations.

If you havent figured it out, I'm the 'glass is still half full' mentality. I
*like* to think that way so do.  If I occasionally find out i was wrong, I
accept that but I am a happier person overall than the sour-puss types.

Ah well, reading messges just typed to me.  I leave for sea in 12 hours and
have to sleep so if there are gaps, please forgive me.
                                       xxcarol

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