Text 482, 64 rader
Skriven 2004-09-13 04:07:15 av FidoNews Robot (2:2/2.0)
Ärende: FidoNews 21:37 [02/05]: Clean Humour & Jokes
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                      CLEAN HUMOUR & JOKES
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                   The Future of Banking

Originally Written: 09/07/2003
Modified: 10/30/2003
Made Somewhat Clean on 09/05/2004
By: "Andy A." <andy22 at tcq dot net>

  Are you tired of old-fashioned banks that keep your money in vaults
that get eaten away by rust? Our name is Couch One Financial, and at
COF, we employ the latest furniture technology to keep your money
secure. We don't believe in using outdated and antiquated methods of
keeping your money safe. We don't use silly things like vaults and
silent alarms or laser beams aimed at a theif's genitalia. In our back
room, we have a vast array of couches, which vary in size, color, and
upholstery. After making your deposit, the money is then immediately
given to nine-year-old children. The children will then go in the back
room and watch television for two hours, after which time, the money
will  somehow have miraculously become hidden within the couch
cushions, and the children will have forgotten about it completely --
whether the deposit was $5.00 or $50,000.00!

  Another benefit of banking with us is that if you're in a hurry and
don't have time to wait in long lines like at other banks, you can
simply put your money inside the couch in our lobby. Please remember
to secure a deposit slip to your wad of cash using a quality
paperclip.

  During an interview, the Founders of Couch One Financial stated the
following:

  "Radical reform must be implemented. There have been too many recent
reports of bank presidents losing the combination to their vaults
simply because they had written it down on the back of a condom
wrapper. In one extremely rare case, a cat burglar bought a 3-pack of
Trojan ultra-lubed, super-thin kevlar-based condoms. As the burglar
passed The Gas'n'Eat'n'Poop where he bought the condoms, 35% of a
combination was found on the 75% recycled condoms. We believe that
money is safer now in couches, provided that people perform their
sexual acts where God intended them, either in a bed or a secure
elevator, and never on or near a couch. What would George Washington
or  Abraham Lincoln say if they were directly underneath such
activities?"

  The interview was cut short due to sudden precipitation, and
geologic upheavals in the area.

  The furniture technology that our engineers have developed is
amazing! We're quite proud of those withdrawn teenagers. Our crack
team of engineers are even at the chalkboard this very moment,
designing technology that is based on the same principle that causes
socks and underwear to disappear. The washer-dryer combo is expected
to be ready for testing by Spring of 2009, and will be chaired by a
separate division of Couch One. Shares for Washout One Financial will
be available for trading as early as Fall of 2005.


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