Text 9415, 80 rader
Skriven 2005-04-01 08:17:08 av Moderator (1:10/22)
Ärende: Rules for FIDONEWS
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            THE NEW RULES FOR FIDONEWS..  ALL NEW for 2005!

TAG           FIDONEWS
TITLE         Mindless Chatter & Drivel Over Nothing
DESC          A conference devoted to babbling on and on about utter
DESC          nonsense, for those in the United States, Canada and all
DESC          other parts unknown. People who post serious topics,
DESC          personal messages, BBS ads, or advertising of ANY KIND
DESC          will be verbally chastised by everybody in the whole
DESC          dad-blamed echo.  THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING!
DESC          Messages here will be light-hearted, with no chance of
DESC          accidental seriousness. A perfect place for stressed-out
DESC          persons to find fast relief. Hershey Bars allowed.
DESC          Meatloaf allowed. Aardvarks allowed.  Nose picking
DESC          allowed. Cat jokes allowed.  Suspend your reality at the
DESC          door and be ready to make fun of yourself.  No gross
DESC          profanity allowed, unless expressed with force by the
DESC          MODERATOR. Math proofs and box tops will help, but not
DESC          much.
MOD           Roy Witt, 1:387/22
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
An Explanation Of Implied Rules So That Even The Most Ignorant Person
Has An Opportunity To Learn Them Painlessly Before We Kick Your Butt!
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

1)  NO ADVERTISING! This includes BBS ADS, MLM ADS, ADS for lost
    animals, ADS for humanitarian appeals, ADS for lost relatives,
    living or dead, requests for parts or labor, K-Mart Specials,
    Brown Sugar, slats, and old geezers playing Cribbage.  Don't mess
    with me, I mean business here.. trust me!

2)  Don't even THINK about applying for Membership unless you are
    willing to send $127.50 for Drivelling Papers, Phunny Hats, Decoder
    Rings and any other souvenirs we might dream up.  And don't be
    surprised if you don't RECEIVE any of the aformentioned items.  We
    make absolutely NO CLAIMS about our honesty here.. only that you'll
    regret your visit.

3)  If you make comments to other peoples' messages, or are annoying in
    any way, you are in serious danger of being drafted as the
    Moderator. This is a PUBLIC ECHO. No private messages are possible,
    encouraged or tolerated.  Any of these words you do not understand
    will be painfully explained to you by the resident dwarves.

4)  Be it hereby known that we reserve the right to poke fun at
    ourselves, Catholics, Protestants, JWs, Mormons, Jews, Muslims,
    homosexuals, heterosexuals, androgenous people, asexuals, celebates,
    televangelists, witches, cats, dogs, squirrels, fish, waterfowl,
    boars, ethnical people, unethnical people, Gregorian Chanters, stone
    masons, gondaloons, bedoobies and passflooses, or you'll be in for a
    spankie. Any SERIOUS discussion of ANY kind will be met with LARGE
    PILES OF PIGEON <SPACK> and last year's supply of boiled kale and
    lutefisk.

5)  All things being equal, The Moderator shall reserve the power to
    slap you around suddenly and for no apparent reason.. just for the
    ugly thrill of it.  When YOU get to be Moderator, YOU can make the
    rules.

6)  This is NOT the FLAME conference.  Mild, gentle flames are
    acceptable for a Newbie who didn't bother to read these rules before
    barging in without a BARGE license.  HOWEVER, blatent profanity or
    prolonged abuse will NOT be tolerated under any circumstances. If
    you MUST blow off steam, USE NETMAIL, or Lou Dripkin will teach you
    the EWE DANCE.

7)  For heaven's sake, don't spout off about your political
    observations. Nobody cares, least of all ME.  There are 900+ other
    places in FIDONET to go for that, which shall all remain nameless.
    If you persist in this kind of behavior, we will send our cousins
    (Nunzio and Guido, the Jewish Flatulators) over to your house to
    perform rhinoplasty on your goiter, or some other such disgusting
    and equally rewarding tripe.  We mean BUSINESS here.

7) <Sigh> Okay, Phil, this one's for you. NO PUFTAS!
    (A concession to Phil Harris from Andy Peed; a tradition)


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 * Origin: Flying \A/ Ranch, San Antonio, TX (1:10/22)