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Skriven 2004-10-18 04:23:33 av FidoNews Robot (2:2/2.0)
Ärende: FidoNews 21:42 [03/07]: In The Snooze Ten Years Ago
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                   IN THE SNOOZE TEN YEARS AGO
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Dear Editor-Beings Prelude: While holding his nose, Charles Herriot
(1:163/110) submits the latest missive from Doc Logger which was
delivered by courier wrapped around a large quantity of polar bear
livers. In a postscript, Logger suggests that the inclusions are to be
used in some form of ritual involving Fidogods. Roll da flic,
Sylvia....

Uncle Bill's Home for Wayward TonTon Macoutes,
Armalite, Argentina
S0D 0RF

Dear Reverend Visage,

I was dismayed that you had ventured to one of the more dangerous
parts of the world. While Mr. Bill was sending thousands of troops to
correct traffic patterns in Haiti, more people died of gunshot wounds
in downtown Washington, D.C. than had died of unnatural causes in the
preceding two months of ugliness in Port Au Prince. You have to admire
the priorities at work and the Excited States must be positively
drooling at the prospect of helping Iraq locate the border markers in
Kuwait.

I was further dismayed to read in the paper that Prince Charles had
sixteen badgers shot on one of his estates. It seems that he was
worried that they would somehow pass on TB to his cattle, but the
*real* reason must have something to do with the fact that they were
poised to write a salacious kiss-n-tell story involving Princess Di.
You can't trust badgers, Visage, as I've mentioned on more than a few
occasions and its a darned fine thing to see our future monarch doing
something other than expressing a desire to live in the trousers of
his paramours.

Ms. Labamba was positively gushing when she mentioned that the large
crate of inflatable Hillary Clinton dolls had arrived from Rick Arnold
at Rune's Rag (1:2601/522). Dooya think that if I mentioned Rune's Rag
( a fine electronic publication, available from 1:2601/522) that Rick
would send the batteries that appear to be missing from the
aforementioned shipment?

I hesitate to mention Net250 after you had me followed by trained
marksmen armed with Thorazine tipped blowguns, but it appears that our
beloved but non-sentient RC, Rick "Bury The Rest of Me At Wounded
Knee" Johnston, is about to embark on another act of abject idiocy. It
seems that he is about to overrule a policy complaint that was filed
and rejected by the NC250. The complaint itself, was so profoundly
childish and snivelling that it wouldn't have been taken seriously by
a kindergarten teacher, but Rick "The Night of The Living Unread"
Johnston has applied his keen jurisprudent mind to the issue. Look for
flaming nodenumbers on the Northern horizon as this saga sinks deeper
into the slimepit.

I understand now, why you were unable to locate the ZC, Bob Satti (cue
the plague of frogs), in your rambling through Canada's west.
Apparently, Mr. Satti (sacrificing another hamster in deference to the
Fidogods) has opined that he will see Nets 163 & 243 force marched to
the altar before his term expires. Mercifully, he has also stated that
he cannot turn his attention to the divorced Ottawa nets until the
range warfare in Region 13 is subdued. Might I suggest, as a measure
of the kind of deep concern that we feel towards these things, that we
air freight our four hundred pound Samoan attorney to Region 13 so
that their squabbles are prolonged long enough to outlast Mr. Satti's
(cue the flood) tenure?

On almost the same issue, I note that in the Z1-Election echo, various
Fidogods keep citing PeeFour as some sort of Divine Doctrine. It would
be unsurpassing rude of me, I suppose, to point out that PeeFour was
never ratified, never voted upon, and has all the authority of Cheese
Whiz. The fact that PeeFour entrenches the incestuous clubbiness of
Fidogods is reason enough to place the document in a position where
the sun doesn't shine and someday the elflords who keep invoking it
will learn that the sysop peasantry don't need to be "controlled." The
Z1_Election denizens are debating whether the secular state of
*EC-beings can create their own policy nightmare. They miss the point
entirely, in that the more rules they create, the more Fidocriminals
they will engender.

I must go Visage, your secretary has the kind of bovine gleam in her
eye that Rudolph must have had the day he met Bambi, and I have no
desire to father any children whose noses glow red in the dark. As a
good and decent gesture, I suggest that we send her to the White House
where she can become one of Mr. Bill's UnderSecretaries. Her distemper
has nothing at all to do with the fact that the Snooz editors refused
to honour your expense tab from Washington for the services of "St.
Brigitte's All Nude Girl's Tuba Marching Band." I think it was the
tubas, Visage, because Don Tees was heard to mutter something about
the value of "art."

Regards,

Doc Logger,
3rd Baseman In The Rye,
Holden Caulfield School of Fencing,
Shuckmagosh, Ohio



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