Text 34995, 89 rader
Skriven 2009-08-16 10:22:39 av Roy Witt (1:387/22)
  Kommentar till text 34963 av David Drummond (3:640/305)
Ärende: Fruity looping
======================
16 Aug 09 07:03, David Drummond wrote to Robert Bashe:

 RB>> Indeed - homosexuals are not prized and pampered in every society...

 DD> They don't tend to partake of abortions, some should laud them for
 DD> that.....

Actually from the Earlwood Bugle, Sydny, Australia:

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was
only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Ted Harrison told bemused
doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Earlwood Memorial Hospital.

Harrison, and homosexual partner John "Kinky" Warner, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone
seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and
slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kinky
shouted out "Armageddon:, my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to
retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so  I peered into
the tube and struck a match thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described  what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a
flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Harrison's beard and long hair
and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur
and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up
the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."

Harrison suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the
impact of the gerbil, while Warner suffered first and second
degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

**********************************************************************

O.K., here's the top ten things that scared me the most in reading this
story:

10) "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum. . ." Ouch!!!

9)  "So I peered into the tube. . ." Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. I'm sorry,
    but that's like looking through a telescope into hell. I'd
    rather use binoculars to stare at the sun.

8)  That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self-esteem)
    being shot out of the guy's anus like Rocky the Flying Squirrel
    on Rocky & Bullwinkle.

7)  Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of
    someone's anus. I'm just guessing, but I seriously doubt said
    gerbil was springtime fresh after his little journey into Kinky's
    "tunnel of love."

6)  People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in
    their rectums.

5)  People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were
    doing when taken to the emergency room.

    Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of
    roving, pyromaniac, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and
    sodomizing me with a a charcoal lighter before I admit the
    truth.

    Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a
    doctor and saying "Well doc, it's like this. See we have this
    gerbil named Raggot and we took this cardboard tube. . ."

4)  "First and second degree burns to the anus". Wouldn't this make
    the burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief?
    How does one ever take a healthy poop after something like this?
    And the smell of burning anus must be in the top five most
    horrible scents on the face of God's green earth.

3)  People named "Kinky" which is obviously a Polynesian word for:
    "Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their butts."

2)  What kind of a hospital would hold a press conference on this?

1)  This happened in Sydny, Australia. What kind of people are those
    Aussies?


                R\%/itt

Joy lives in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in
the victory itself.

--- Twit(t) Filter v2.1 (C) 2000
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