Text 19951, 131 rader
Skriven 2011-06-14 12:56:19 av Lee Lofaso (1:323/120.0)
Ärende: Bachmann/Palin Overdrive
================================
Hello Everybody,

Well, it had to happen.
The ditzes are taking over.
One ditz at a time.

First there was Hillary Clinton.
Then there was Sarah Palin.
Now there is Michele Bachmann.

The first ditz (that would be Hillary Clinton) says she
is hanging it up if The Great One (that would be Barack Obama)
wins a second term, thus announcing to everyone of her impending
retirement from politics.

The second ditz (that would be Sarah Palin) says she is not
running for president, but enjoys the company of the press and
all the attention she is getting signing books and making speeches
for lots of money around the country, thus announcing to everyone
of her good fortune to be liked by everyone without ever having
to run for office again.

The third ditz (the only person stupider than Sarah Palin) has
just announced her candidacy for President of the United States,
thus making her the darling of all red-blooded American macho
males, and hero to women everywhere.

Who is this third ditz?  Why, none other than Super Ditz herself,
Tea Party favorite Michele Bachmann!

Here are some choice quotes by Michele Bachmann, who is sure
to become our next Presidentress of the United States -

"Not all cultures are equal."

Hmmm.  I wonder what Michele means by that?  Was she saying that
Thomas Jefferson was wrong?  I mean, Jefferson did write "All men
are created equal."  I'll bet what she meant is that women are
created more equal than men.  A secret Women's Libber.  That is
what Michele Bachmann is.  Has everybody fooled...

"And what a bizarre time we're in, when a judge will say to little
children that you can't say the Pledge of Allegiance, but you must
learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it."

Michele has been watching too many commercials.  Especially the
ad where a brother tells Mikey, "Try it, you'll like it."

"I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine
flu broke out under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter.  And I'm
not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting
coincidence."

It was a rabbit, Michele.  A rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter.
Not a pig.  When attacked by the swimming rabbit, Carter took his
paddle and tried to whack the rabbit on side the head, but the
rabbit escaped into the woods, never to be seen again.  The Great
One (that would be Barack Obama) was in Indonesia at the time
and obviously had nothing to do with the killer rabbit.

"Gay marriage is probably the biggest issue that will impact our
state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years.  I am not
understating that."

Geez.  And I had always thought there were more queers in the French
Quarter in New Orleans than in the state of Minnesota...

"A woman (Terri Schiavo) was healthy.  There was brain damage,
there was no question.  But from a health point of view, she was
not terminally ill."

Well, she did wish she was dead.  And wishing is not a terminal
illness.  So I guess Michele is right about that.

"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful.  but there isn't even one
study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful
gas."

Plants love it.  Plants thrive on it.  And then pollute the atmosphere
with oxygen.  Which humans love.  And thrive on.  And then pollute the
planet by producing more humans.  Therefore, Michele is right, having
the perfect solution for global warming.  Produce more carbon dioxide.
Grow more plants.  Make more babies.  Michele is, by all accounts, the
perfect pro-life candidate.

"Normalization (of gayness) through desensitization.  Very effective
way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of
`The Lion King' for instance, and a teacher might say `Do you know
that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?" The message
is: I'm better at what I do, because I'm gay."

Sir Elton John is most definitely a most talented songwriter
and entertainer...

"If we took away the minimum wage - if conceivably it was gone -
we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely
because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."

This system worked great for America.  Until FDR came along
and screwed it up.  And now look at the fine mess we are in...

"I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize
that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist.  I'm
not a deep thinker on all of this.  I wish I was.  i wish I was
more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist."

Michiel Van Der Vlist can help her with that shortcoming...

"There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them
holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design."

...on second thought, maybe Michiel Van Der Vlist is not able
to help her with that shortcoming.

Incredible as it might seem, this nitwit is in Congress.
Even more incredible as it might seem, someone elected her.
And to think (forbid the thought), this nitwit will likely
become our next President.  With her second in command
being Sarah Palin.  Don't you love it?  Eye candy for
President, and more eye candy for Vice President.  The
perfect ticket for 2012!

Don't laugh.  It could happen.

And you thought the Mayans could not predict the End of the World.

--Lee

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