Text 2528, 66 rader
Skriven 2010-01-05 07:33:06 av Lee Lofaso (3:800/432.0)
Ärende: Diets That Work
=======================
Hello Everybody,

Now that the holidays are over, it is time to start
losing all that flab gained by overeating.  Here are
a few diets that have been proven over time to work -

* Japanese Morning-Banana Diet.  This is a very easy diet to follow.
Just eat raw bananas with room-temperature milk.  For breakfast, lunch,
and supper.  That's it. This diet is all the rage in Japan.  So much so,
that Japanese grocery stores have bananas on back order.

* The Egg Diet.  This is also a very easy diet to follow.  Just eat
nine eggs a day.  Every day.  For a year.  Also very inexpensive.

* All `Man-Juice' Diet.  This one is mainly for women, although I
reckon some guys might be interested.  Porn actress Kim Kelly came
up with this diet mainly for herself, in an effort to lose weight
as she was a bit chubby and unemployed at the time.  Her diet
consists of semen, banana smoothies and broccoli.  It is presumed
she collected semen via fellatio, but who knows?  According to her,
some 3000+ guys are standing in line waiting and willing to feed
her, but not sure how many actually have.

* Sleeping Beauty Diet.  This diet is very easy to follow.  Nothing
to it, really.  Just sleep.  Sleep all day.  Sleep all night.  Keep
on sleeping until all unwanted weight is lost.  What can be more
simple than that?  It is rumored that Michael Jackson was a big
fan of this diet...

* The Cookie Diet.  These specially-flavored cookies are supposed
to enable an individual to lose weight.  But only if the directions
are followed to the letter.  Eat six cookies every day, and try not
to cheat by eating more, and your weight will disappear in a short
period of time.  By eating these cookies, one no longer craves
any other foods.  That is how the diet works.  So do yourself
a favor.  Become a Cookie Monster.

* The Monkey Chow Diet.  Some ingenious fellow came up with this
one, probably out of sheer stupidity.  Just go to the feed store,
buy some monkey chow, and eat up.  Straight out of the bag.  Not
quite sure how well that stuff comes out the other end, as the
fiber content in monkey chow can be a bit much.

* Breatharianism Diet.  For those on a tight budget, this is the
perfect diet.  This diet consists solely of eating sunlight.  This
diet is so effective that every single individual who has tried it
has lost weight.  Problem is, none have survived to tell the tale.

* Shangri-La Diet.  I am not even going to attempt to define this
diet.  Except to say those who have tried it swear they have found
Shangri-La.

* The Bible Diet.  Go ask Moses.

* The Lip Gloss Diet.  Dr. Frank 'N' Furter of Rocky Horror fame
invented this diet.  By applying this lipstick, folks would no longer
be craving for food.  At least, not the kind of food that makes one
fat.

--Lee


 * SLMR 2.1a * "I am a deeply superficial person." - Andy Warhol

--- Maximus 3.01
 * Origin: Xaragmata / Adelaide SA telnet://xaragmata.mooo.com (3:800/432)