Text 17790, 156 rader
Skriven 2014-08-26 11:47:00 av TIM RICHARDSON (1:123/140)
Ärende: Today's Amusing Thoughts
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Here's a scenario that is really a parody of Sharpton's
level of intellect. Which makes you wonder why anyone
would ever take Sharpton seriously:


Obama Appoints Reverend Al Sharpton Global Warming Czar


The DAILY RASH

All the news that's unfit to print

By Mark Donahue


WASHINGTON  During this morning's White House briefing Jay Carney confirmed
President Obama will appoint Al Sharpton to be the administration's new Global
Warming Czar. Carney said the president was astonished at the scientific
brilliance Sharpton displayed when he explained man-made climate change
earlier this week on MSNBC.


"The president happened to tune into "PoliticsNation" on MSNBC this week when
Reverend Sharpton was educating his audience on the complicated intricacies of
man-made climate change. Armed with scientific facts and undeniable evidence,
Mr. Sharpton was able to explain in layman's terms the devastation we will all
experience if we don't act to rein in corporate America's disregard for our
planet."


This afternoon Al Sharpton appeared on CNN with Piers Morgan to discuss his
new position at the White House. Following is a transcript of their
conversation.


PIERS MORGAN:  My next guest is the new Czar of Climate Change, Reverend Al
Sharpton. Welcome to the show, Mr. Sharpton.


AL SHARPTON:  You may call me Reverend.


PIERS MORGAN:  Of course, Reverend. Let me begin by congratulating you on your
new job in the Obama administration.

AL SHARPTON:  You're welcome and I accept your congregation, Percy.


PIERS MORGAN:  Climate Change Czar! I was not aware you were so knowledgeable
about environmental dangers.


AL SHARPTON:  There are lots of things I'm allegible for.


PIERS MORGAN:  Tell me, when did you become so educated in climate change?


AL SHARPTON:  Oh, I've been a huge fan of weather my entire whole life.


PIERS MORGAN:  Did you study science in school?


AL SHARPTON:  Nope. I'm what you would call self-adjudicated. I learned most
things that way.


PIERS MORGAN:  So when did you first become concerned about climate change?


AL SHARPTON:  Oh, probably the first time I ran for president. I realized that
lots of people on the left wanted global warming to be a tropic of their
represenator's oral condensations.


PIERS MORGAN:  So it was political motivation rather than an actual concern
for the environment that motivated you?


AL SHARPTON:  My concern for those entering retirement was motivational. The
elderlies are terrified of having to swim for their lives in floods due to
man-made carbohydrates.


PIERS MORGAN:  Reverend Sharpton, are you personally afraid of the
consequences of climate change?


AL SHARPTON:  My personal consequentials are personal, but the potentiality of
global flooding in New York where I abode are catastrophous.


PIERS MORGAN:  As the new czar of climate change, what will be your initial
priority?


AL SHARPTON:  African Americans will be my official minority, but I will not
overlook a conspicuous regard for Latinos and homosapiens too.


PIERS MORGAN:  Reverend Sharpton, what are some things you will recommend to
reverse man-made climate change in the United States?


AL SHARPTON:  I do not plan to go into reverse. Now is not the time to move
backwards. We need to look forward rather than post a tasty retreat. I always
say tomorrow is another day to fight against impression and any quality.


PIERS MORGAN:  For decades Al Gore has warned us of the impending calamities
of climate change. Do you plan to confer with him during your tenure as
climate czar?


AL SHARPTON:  Well, I don't know if it's going to be a ten year job, but who
knows. Maybe I'll be good at it.


PIERS MORGAN:  I'm assuming as climate czar you will have an immense amount of
power to crack down on some of the abuses of companies emitting poison into
our air.


AL SHARPTON:  What I will do as the climate star is seek and desist the crack
down on drug abuses that send so many innocent African American men of color
to prison and replace those laws with ambulatory rebilitation and career
consoling.


PIERS MORGAN:  You recently said that Tea Party members are happy about
climate change. What did you mean by that?


AL SHARPTON:  Tea baggers want the climate to flood because they don't think
African Americans can swim.


PIERS MORGAN:  Can you swim?


AL SHARPTON:  I used to be able to float when I was fat.


PIERS MORGAN:  And now that you're skinny?


AL SHARPTON:  (snickers) When the floods come I'll just have to pray that
Oprah floats by.

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