Text 19237, 60 rader
Skriven 2014-11-10 14:31:16 av Roy Witt (1:387/22)
  Kommentar till text 19228 av Lee Lofaso (11428.2fidonews)
Ärende: Life Under the Democr
=============================
Greetings Lee!

10 Nov 14 09:41, Bill McGarrity wrote to Lee Lofaso:

 LL>> Have you ever seen a cow explode?

Yes, up close, but not close enough to get any on me. While out rabbit
hunting on a friend's farm in Illinois (not Texas, you jerk), we came upon
a bloated dead cow. She must have been twice the size you see them while
in the field munching on grass. One guy in the group, a city slicker from
New Jerkey was present and first upon the dead cow. Being a New-Jerkian,
he had no idea what he was doing and took his shotgun point blank and blew
a hole in her belly. Of course he got sprayed with the innards, which from
my distant vantage point, smelled pretty bad. In fact, he was threatened
with a long walk home unless he made an attempt to at least clean himself
up before he would be allowed to get in the car for the ride back to town.
Even after he got himself cleaned off, he still smelled bad, so we let him
ride in the trunk of the car.

 LL>>   I have.  On a sunny, and very hot, day in west Texas.

A 115Fø day?

 LL>> I was driving on the interstate, and passing a cow pasture at the
 LL>> time when a dead cow exploded.

Hole in your story: The interstate in West Texas doesn't have any fences
within 'bloated cow exploding distance' to get any on your car. You may
have gotten a load of dead cow from that New Jerkey cattle truck taking
home the beef. We always try to please the garbage eaters there.

 LL>> Fortunately I had the windows rolled up, and did not wind up
 LL>> getting myself splattered.  It must have been the methane gas
 LL>> being all bottled up on the insides of that dead cow that did
 LL>> it.  Took me hours to clean up the mess on my car.

Kinda hard to run around and between the crowd that had gathered to watch
such a clownish man attempt to clean off his car without any water to
rinse it with. I saw a water hose at a gas station in El Paso once, but I
was told that the water was recycled sewage water and not fit for man or
beast to drink. In fact the gas station attendant said that they only
allow easterners to drink it because it reminds them of the water they get
out of the faucet at home in New (you call it).

 BM> Well, between cows and fertilizer plants, texas seems to have the
 BM> market cornered on things that go BOOM...

And a whole lot more than the Garbage State...including military arsonals
of explosives when in need during a time of war. California has the same
thing, but their's are on the coastline.

    Have a day!

         R\%/itt - K5RXT

... Guns are welcome here. Please keep all weapons holstered, unless the
     need arises. In such cases, judicious marksmanship is appreciated.
--- GoldED+/W32 1.1.5-31012
--- D'Bridge 3.99
 * Origin: Felten's Lunch Counter, Special: McJerkey Stuffing! (1:387/22)