Text 1096, 69 rader
Skriven 2005-02-06 16:19:22 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: Your Kids Might Have Inhe
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-> DC> Your son uses Twizzlers as floggers.
-> 
-> what was the full subject line/title?
 
Subject: Your Kids Might Have Inherited Your Kink If:


The Mammogram

  I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm
Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her
head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room
right hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything
clearrrr?"

  I'm thinking, "Belinda ... try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

  Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

  Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a
perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60
seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything
nice....it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold
4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

  With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left
and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in  a tad so we
can get everything?"

  Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why  not
use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

  My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob
wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, then
felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

  "What?" I yelled.

  "Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the
door.

  "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I
shouted.

  Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ... the door's wide
open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk."

  Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how
Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and
part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed
between glass!  After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type
greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew
the power was off.

  Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

  "You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been
standing in the line at the grocery store.

  Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no
attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh I am soooo  sorry! The
power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And  silly me, I went to
lunch in the cafeteria.  Are we upset?"

  And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
freakin' clamps........
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