Text 1151, 46 rader
Skriven 2005-02-07 08:45:12 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: BOOK
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.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's Oldy Goldies Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 05

Many years ago the following letter was sent to the Secretary
of Agriculture:

Dear Mr. Secretary:

        My friend Bordereaux received a $1,000 check from the government
for not raising hogs, and so I am going into the not-raising-hogs
business.

        What I want to know is, what is the best kind of land not to
raise hogs on and what is the best kind of hogs not to raise?   I would
prefer not to raise razorback, but if this is not the best kind not to
raise, I will just as gladly not raise Durocs or Poland Chinas.

        The hardest part of this business is going to be keeping an
individual record on each of the hogs I do not raise.

        My friend Bordereaux has been raising hogs for more than 20
years and the most he ever made was $400 in 1918, until this year when
he received $1,000 for not raising hogs.  Now, if I get $1,000 for not
raising 50 hogs, I will get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs, etc.

        I plan to start off on a small scale, holding myself down to not
raising 4,000 hogs for which I will, of course, receive $80,000.

        Now these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of
corn.  I understand you pay farmers for not raising corn.   Will you pay
me for not raising 100,000 bushels of corn, which I will not feed to the
hogs which I am not raising?

        I want to get started as soon as possible, as this looks like a
good time of year for not raising hogs.

       Yours very truly,
       October Brussard

... People laughing. . . . makes it noisy in F UNNY #[;-)]

 

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