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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 1177, 294 rader
Skriven 2005-02-08 14:37:00 av George Pope
Ärende: Recipe/Week Day 7
=========================
And, after all those wonderful dishes, you need a good drink. . .
(or two. . . or three. . . or. . . )

(These are all actual mixed drinks served in some bars)

                               XXX DRINK MENU
                              ================

                                THE CLITORIS

                               1 part Bacardi
                           1 part Creme de Almond
                              1 part Bailey's
                            1 part Whipped Cream
                                   Cherry

                            Layer in shot glass.


                                  BLOW JOB

                              1/2 shot Kahlua
                               Whipped cream
                            Top with the cream.
                 No hands, tilt your head back and swallow


                              CUM IN A HOT TUB

                           1/2 shot Orange Juice
                       1/2 shot Bailey's Irish Cream
            Pour Bailey's into Orange Juice for curdling effect


                                DEEP THROAT

        (same as blow job, only in a salt shaker and for women only)
          The tongue must be used to break the whipped cream seal


                             FLAMING BLUE FUCK

                             1 1/2 oz. Sambuca
                            1/2 oz. Blue Curaco
                   Set on fire and drink through a straw


                                   ORGASM

                                2 oz. Vodka
                               2 oz. Amaretto
                                2 oz. Kahlua
                             2 oz. Light Cream
                 Shake with ice, strain into highball glass


                               SIT ON MY FACE

                        1 shot Bailey's Irish Cream
                             1 shot Frangelica
                               1 shot Kahlua
               Layer the Bailey's over Frangelica over Kahlua


                        WRIGLEY'S DOUBLEMINT BLOWJOB

                               1 shot Kahlua
                 1/2 shot of peppermint schnapps 100 proof
                               Milk or Cream
                                Stir or whip


                             COWBOY COCKSUCKER

                                1 part vodka
                              1 part bailey's
                               1 part Kahlua
       Topped with whipped cream, this drink is another one that must
            be drunk from the shot glass without using any hands.


                              PIERCED NIPPLE

                               1 part Sambuca
                               1 part Baileys
                            1 part Goldschlager
         In a cordial glass layer the following in the above order,
              then float a coffee bean on top, tastes awesome.


                                CREAMY BUSH

                        1 part Bailey's Irish Cream
                      1 part Bushmill's Irish Whiskey
                          Combine in rock's glass


                               FLAMING ORGASM

                                   1 Beer
                             1 shot Bacardi 151
      Pour the Beer into a glass, flame the 151, drop in Beer and slam


                                 FUZZY DICK

                               1 part Kahlua
                            1 part Gran Marnier
                                   Coffee
                    In coffee cup mix, add whipped cream


                                  GET LAID

                              1 1/2 oz. Vodka
                          1 oz. Raspberry schnapps
                              Pineapple juice
                         splash of cranberry juice
                           Stir in highball glass


                                HAIRY VIRGIN

                                2 parts Rum
                             1 part Triple sec
                       2 parts Orange/Pineapple juice
                        (if no cherry - Hairy Slut)
                  (if ice blended in- Frigid Hairy Virgin)
                  (if no cherry and blended - Hairy Bitch)
                        Serve over ice with a cherry


                               HOT IRISH NUT

                        1 part Bailey's Irish Cream
                             1 part Frangelica
                                   Coffee
               Stir in coffee mug, (1 part amaretto optional)


                              KISS IN THE DARK

                                 1 oz. Gin
                            1 oz. Cherry brandy
                             1 oz. Dry Vermouth
                 Stir with ice, strain into highball glass


                               MOTHER FUCKER

                                 1 oz Vodka
                                  1 oz Gin
                                1 oz Tequila
                                  1 oz Rum
                                1 oz Kahlua
                              Hope you enjoy.


                           PAP SMEAR (Pabst Smir)

                                   1 Beer
                         1 shot Smirnoff 100 proof
                      Drop Smirnoff into beer and chug


                               POP THE CHERRY

                            2 oz. Cherry brandy
                                Orange Juice
            Stir in highball glass, add cherry and orange slice


                                 REARBUSTER

                               2 oz. Tequila
                                2 oz. Kahlua
                              Cranberry juice
                           Stir in highball glass


                              SCREAMING ORGASM

                                  Barstool
                               Equal parts-
                                    Rum
                                   Vodka
                                  Bourbon
       Open mouth, lean back, swallow till you can't swallow any more


                            STRAWBERRY STRIPPER

                                Orange Juice
                       1 1/2 oz. Strawberry Schnapps
                              1 oz. Triple sec
     Pour Schnapps into Orange Juice and then Triple sec - do not stir


                               TIGHT SNATCH

                            1 1/2 oz. light Rum
                            1 oz. Peach Schnapps
                              Pineapple juice
                           Stir in highball glass


                                   VIRGIN

                               1 1/2 oz. Gin
                       1/2 oz. white Creme de menthe
                           1 oz. forbidden fruit
                 Shake with ice, strain into highball glass


                             THE 'SCREW' DRINKS
                             ------------------
    Here is how to add things together to get the various screw drinks:

                                BASIC SCREW
                                1 part Vodka
                                Orange Juice

                      Stir in highball glass over ice

                                   FUZZY
                         add 1 part Peach Schnapps

                                    SLOW
                            add 1 part Sloe Gin

                                COMFORTABLE
                        add 1 part Southern Comfort

                            UP AGAINST THE WALL
                     float a splash of Galliano on top

                                WITH A KISS
                     float a splash of Amaretto on top


                       ROLL ME OVER AND DO ME AGAIN
                                 (Cocktail)

                             1/4 part Light Rum
                             1/4 part Dark Rum
                              1/4 part Midori
                              1/4 part Malibu
                          Splash Creme de Bananes

                   Fill with equal parts OJ And Pineapple,
                 add touch of Grenadine for color and shake.

                            PURPLE MOTHERFUCKER
                                   (Shot)

                                1 part Vodka
                          1 part Southern Comfort
                              1 part Blue Maui
                          1 part Cranberry juice.
                        Shake and pour as a shooter!


                             GETSYALAID COFFEE

                         1 shot dark Creme de Cacao
                           1 shot Orange Curacao
                              1/2 shot Kahlua
                                1 shot Vodka
             Add coffee, should be in a VERY tall mug...top with
          whipped cream, add straw...and dreeeeenk several! Yeehaw!

                             FROZEN BUSHWHACKER

                               1.5 oz. Kahlua
                              1 oz. Frangelica
                               1 oz. Bailey's
                                Irish Creme
                               1 oz. Amaretto
                 1 oz. Vodka (I prefer Ketel One or Stoli)
   Combine all the above with 2-3 scoops of ice and blend until smooth


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1 down at the end of Lonely Street...in Heartbreak Hotel....      

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)