Text 1184, 100 rader
Skriven 2005-02-11 11:59:00 av George Pope
Ärende: Why Women Are Crabby
============================
Why Women are Crabby ............

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that
anythi
ng that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought

us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption
tha
t the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods n our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those

budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear

little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in
plac
es we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the
first
 time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through
yo
ur nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before
hi
s horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and
water
 for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John.
O
f course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with
th
e growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day
mak
ing us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd
o
ur pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our
bles
sed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had
t
o waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
screami
ng, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like
10),
" warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby)
squa
re in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball

through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that
"c
ute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering,
w
et, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.


Then come their teen years. Need I say more? 

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our
e
arly 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.


So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all
wo
manhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or

the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your
sheet
s and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so
eas
y INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without
soa
king their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad
cr
abby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me!!!!



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 

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