Text 1200, 88 rader
Skriven 2005-02-13 23:22:26 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: YOU MIGHT BE A BACHELOR IF.............
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YOU MIGHT BE A BACHELOR IF.............

* you use a stapler to adjust the length of your trousers.

* you get your furniture out of the clean up pile and then brag about how
it didn't cost you a thing.

* you sniff your underwear to see if you can get by just one more day
without doing the wash.

*your refrigerator is packed full of Tupperware dishes filled with molded
smelly food because you just don't want to wash them.

*you've bought the Ziploc disposable plasticware so that you won't have to
wash containers with molded food.

*you open a food container in the fridge to see what it is but can't, and
then you smell it and it knocks you unconscious.

*the only thing that snuggles next to you in bed is your dog and or cat.

*you actually have money in your savings account.

*you bought clean guest towels 3 years ago and they are still hanging up,
unused.

*you haven't cooked in so long you've forgotten where things are in your
kitchen and what buttons to use on the stove.

*you've often wondered how many empty pizza boxes constitutes a collection.

*the only kitchen appliance you know how to use is the microwave.

*you have a disproportionate number of plastic utensils and paper plates
vs. real silverware and plates.

*you haven't eaten a meal at home that wasn't in a disposable container.

*you don't know how to take out the trash.

*you have to look to see how clean your apartment is and not how full your
calendar is to decide when to go out on a date.

* you can clean engine parts in the bathtub without someone yelling at you.

* you buy a really big trashcan for the kitchen so you don't have to take
it out as often.

* you amuse yourself by lobbing beer cans so that they bounce off the wall
before hitting aforementioned trash can.

* it takes you ten minutes every six months to buy new clothes (Let's see,
I'm out of jeans, white T-shirts, black T-shirts, and socks..)

* you don't feel compelled to wear underwear unless you have a date that
night.

* you car gets waxed more often than the toilet gets cleaned.

* you belch and fart in public without apologizing.

* you turn your socks and underwear inside out so you can wear them twice
as long.

* you have the pizza place on speed dial.

* instead of cleaning for guests, you just keep the lights low.

* paper towels double as dishes.

* beer is the ONLY item in the fridge.

* you never listen to your messages when a female is around

* your entire house is trashed except for you entertainment center, which
you lovingly polish every day

* If cooking anything longer than five minutes is a waste of time

* The last time you cleaned the house was when you moved in

* A dress shirt is "fine" if it only has one or two wrinkles in it

* You think you left your tie on the nightstand...or was it the closet?

* You don't feel guilty about leaving the lid up
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