Text 1284, 184 rader
Skriven 2005-03-04 21:12:52 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av Dave Coble
Ärende: F unny stories
======================
G-day Dave,


.  o  _
. K\_|_) From the desk of the I C E-man
. T >III


What do you give a girl who has everything ?
A wide berth

What's the definition of a Eunuch?
A man cut out to be a bachelor

What do you call a well-hung irish male stripper?
Miles O'Toole

What's the best way to get into a sleeping bag?
Wake her up

What does an Elephant keep in his trunk??
About a metre of snot

What's the definition of Macho ?
Jogging home from your vasectomy

What do you call a gay monkey?
A chimp-pansy

What's the definition of a queer austrailian?
One who prefers women to beer

What's the real meaning of of 'Vice Versa' ?
Dirty poetry

What do you get if you cross Pamela Anderson with Quasimodo?
The HunchFRONT of notre dame.

What do you call a cannibal who eats his mothers sister?
An Aunt-eater

Why do farts smell?
For the benefit of the deaf

How would you describe good clean fun?
No fun at all

What was Quasimodo's favourite hobby?
Humping
Why did he give it up?
Because of his bad back

What's the difference between a sewing machine and Pamela Anderson running
for a bus?
A sewing machine only has one bobbin

Why did the man insist of putting his willy inside a box of biscuits?
He was f***ing crackers

What can six men do that three women can't?
Pee in a bucket at the same time

Why was the idiot jumping up and down on a hedgehog?
He was trying to get the conker out of it

What's the difference between a 'light on' and a 'hard on' ?
You can have a light on all night

How can you tell what Clan a scotsman belongs to?
Life up his kilt - if he's got a quarter pounder - he's a McDonalds

What do you get if you cross a birthday cake with a tin of baked beans?
A cake that blows the candles out by itself

What's the height of cheek?
peeing through a neighbours letterbox, then knocking to ask how far it went

What's Snow White's favourite drink?
Seven-Up

How do you know if an elephant is under you bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling

What four letter word ending in 'K' means intercourse ?
Talk

What's the difference between Communism and Sex?
Communism is all left

What's the definition of petting?
The study of anatomy in braille

What's the definition of Sex?
The most fun you can have without laughing

What's the difference between a woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb

What happens to people who sleep like babies?
The never have any

What's the definition of an organ grinder?
A condom full of sand

How can you tell if you're colour blind?
You put celery in the rhubarb pie

What happened to the Viagra user when he slipped on the bathroom floor?
He pole-vaulted out of the window

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
You have to hand it to her.....

What do cannibals use ashes from a crematorium as?
Ready-brek or Porridge

What did the hypercondriac have put on his gravestone?
I told you i was ill

What's black and white and goes round screaming ?
A nun on a spit

What's black and white and black and white and black and white?
A nun rolling down a hill?

Why can't frankenstien have children?
His nuts are in his neck

What's the difference between snow-men and snow-women
snowballs

What's the definition of avoidint the issue?
Contraception

How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her

What's the definition of virgin wool ?
A sheep that ran faster than the shephard

What's another name for a wise crack ?
A virgin

What's white and goes up?
a stupid snowflake

What is the shortest sex story?
Boy scouts, Girl guides

What happens to a footballer who loses his eyesight?
He becomes a referee

What do you call a nun with a limp?
Hopalong chastity

How do you make an italian wine?
Kick him in his balls

Why does an elephant have four feet?
He'd look daft with six inches

How do you know if you are on an itailian airplane?
It's got hair under the wings

What's the difference between an egg and sex?
you can beat an egg

What did the bus driver say to the man with no arms or legs?
Hello, how are you getting on?

What's grey and has a trunk
a mouse going on holiday


Salutations from --Christchurch-+
  ICE-man in      /\            |          \ | /   Mountains, Sunshine
 New Zealand     /  \/\         |  /\      - O -   Forestry, Farming
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^/      \!!ii,,..@-/==\---^-^-^-^-^ Beaches and Surfing


... I C E-man ... does the work of 3 Men...  Moe, Larry & Curly  ,-0

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)