Text 130, 109 rader
Skriven 2004-09-05 23:40:06 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: What Should I Do If The Internet Goes Down?
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Every year we grow more and more dependent on the Internet. But would you
know what to do if your connection suddenly went down?


No one knows when the Internet will fail. It could happen at any time,
leaving you bereft of your e-mail, your sports scores, and your Blogs.
Therefore, it's important that you and your family have a contingency plan
for just such an emergency. If your connection to Cyberspace were to ever
get severed, you should at least be prepared. We have included a few key
points that should assist you if that were to happen.

1. Panic!
An excited, agitated state will give you that heightened sense of
awareness and will increase your thought processes allowing you to come up
with rational solutions. Panic is just nature's way of putting your body
into over-drive. It's a defense mechanism that gives you an edge when
dealing with potentially harmful situations, such as a severed arm or the
loss of your Internet.

2. Find A Telephone
Do you have access to a telephone line? Early computers connected to the
Internet using a dial-up device along with a hardware device known as a
"modem." Since this technology is obsolete, it will be of no use to you.
Instead, use your telephone to call your friends to see if their
connection is also down, as you will have lost the ability to send an
email or an instant message. You can also use a telephone to call 911, an
emergency service that will first tell you to calm down, and then will
send out specially-trained technicians to find the source of the
Internet's failure.

3. Use Your Back-Up Computer
It's always good to have an emergency laptop handy, in case you need to
harry over to a buddy's place where the Net is still up. If there is still
no Internet at that location, at the very least you could connect to a
small network or LAN (Less-than Adequate Network). Laptops can also be
placed on tables at coffeeshops, while you sit around with a latte,
nervously waiting for your connection to be restored.

4. Install A Game
In emergency situations, installing a single-player computer game can
occupy your down-time. While it won't replace the adrenaline rush of
intense networked multiplayer action provided by the Internet, a quick
game of Sim City or Flight Simulator may distract you long enough for your
connection to return.

5. Perform Routine Maintenance
While programs such as Norton Antivirus have removed most of the tedium of
computer system maintenance, nothing could help pass the time faster than
cleaning out your hard drive, emptying your cache, or organizing your
celebrity fake porn collection. Take the time to stare at your screen
while you perform a defragmentation. The time will literally fly while you
barely notice your separation from the Internet.

6. Turn On A Television Or Radio
Televisions, strange boxes that sit in your parents' living rooms, were
once used to provide entertainment, long before DVDs and Playstations were
invented. Televisions have the capability of broadcasting streaming
information similar to the content on multimedia websites. With a "remote
control," a wireless device that is like a small one-handed keyboard, you
may be able to surf a limited number of "channels," while you deal with
the loss of your connection. Unfortunately, television is only a one-way
media.

In ancient times, radios were also used to entertain. A radio allowed you
to listen to news, sports, and music, much the same way that you listen to
live streaming audio on a Shoutcast server. Like the television, a radio
will only have a limited selection of listening stations, and no video.
Hopefully your separation from the Internet will be brief.

7. Read
People in pre-Internet times used to read "books" and "magazines", written
materials once created in printable format to pass the time. Some e-books
are still available on paper, and may offer a short-term solution until
your power is back and your broadband is restored. If reading is not an
option, as a last resort, you may wish to try doing "chores," or try your
hand at cooking. While these activities cannot replace the Internet, they
may be able to make the down-time a little more tolerable.

8. Go Outside
The idea of leaving your workstation may seem a little extreme, but you
can perform errands that you normally get parents or spouses to do:
grocery shopping, drycleaning, etc. Leaving your dorm room, basement, or
above-garage apartment suite, may be risky, but again, the time may afford
an effective distraction from your Internet woes. NOTE: Be careful to
avoid the sun, because your pasty white skin will not be used to the
exposure.

9. Spend Time With Your Spouse
Communicating with your wife or girlfriend may seem like a radical suggest
ion, but the time investment may offer long-term rewards. Spending any
amount of time talking about your "relationship" may free up more Internet
time for you later on, when your ADSL or Cable link to the World Wide Web
has been restored. WARNING: These will probably be the longest hours of
your life.

10. Use Your Emergency AOL Disk
If you find that your connection to the Internet is going to be longer
than you can possibly stand, as a last resort, pull out an emergency AOL
CD, the one with 910 free hours of connection to the AOL service. Take the
CD in one hand...and slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be
a better alternative than connecting to that service.

Hopefully some of these Internet alternatives will be able to assist you
during an offline crisis. Emergency radio broadcasts will likely advise
you of the state of the Internet and be able to predict when your
bandwidth will be restored, but remember to have an emergency plan in case
your digital detachment is longer than you expect.
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