Text 1305, 222 rader
Skriven 2005-03-09 22:00:54 av George Pope (1:153/307.11)
   Kommentar till text 1304 av MIKE ROSS (1:167/133.0)
Ärende: You'd Just Know, eh?
============================
On (09 Mar 05) MIKE ROSS wrote to George Pope...
 MR>  GP> LOVEMAKING TIPS FOR OLDER PERSONS

 MR> And don't forget to take the sildenafil citrate an hour beforehand.

Wuzzat?  Generic Viagra?

 MR>  A*s*i*m*o*v

Yup, love the Robotic Laws series!

ObJ


   My girl friend's 23; going on 24.
   I'm 58; going on Viagra


Top Ten Slogans Currently Being Considered by Viagra:

10. "Viagra. The quicker dicker upper"
 9. "One-a-day, like iron"
 8. "Get a piece of the rock"
 7. "You've come a long way, baby"
 6. "Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em"
 5. "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
 4. "Tastes great, more filling"
 3. "Viagra, built ram tough"
 2. "Here's the beef!"

and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:

 1. Just do her.


Some honorable mentions:

"We work harder, so you don't have to"
"Ten inches long... and growing."
"Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight"
"Viagra, home of the whopper"
"Viagra, Now is a great time to be silver"
"This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill goes to the doctor and tells the doctor that he needs Viagra so that
he can have sex with his wife.  The doctor prescribes it for him and tells
him that one hour before he is to have sex, he is to take the pill.  The
guy goes home and one hour before his wife is to come home, he gulps the
pill down.  An hour later, his wife calls and said that the lesbian rights
rally has run into overtime, and that she will be home in two hours.
Bill immediately calls the doctor and tells him about the unexpected
circumstances.
The doctor says: "Well, that pill will work, at the most, for two hours."
So Bill says: "What am I supposed to do now?"
The doctor replies:  "As I remember it, you have a beautiful intern.
Why don't you have sex with her?"
Bill replies:  "You don't understand. With her I don't need Viagra!"


Viagra -- the Lazarus Pill, as it resurrects the dead.

===

For the woman who wants a little more life in her middle-aged man,
she should give him a Cappuccino Viagra an hour before bedtime.

===

Soon even the Listless Old Coot will be a thing of the past, since
getting up in the morning is a damn happy reason to get up in the
morning.

===

As many are aware, England has yet to approve Viagra.

There is a rumor that that is about to change.

The approval will be for a somewhat different indication.

The British will be dissolving it in their tea.  It will be to
enable them to "keep a stiff upper lip."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The difference between Niagra and Viagra? Niagra Falls.

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the
casket lid shut?

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra
may cause them to spin around and point north.

A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription
exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was
with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year
isn't too bad."

If the insurance companies are going to set
guidelines before approving Viagra coverage,
what are they going to use?  A growth chart?

Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates
after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the
balance of power in the region.

I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet
pickles last night and this morning had a jar
full of big Kosher dills.

How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light
bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.

If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra,
see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!

If I give my computer monitor Viagra, will the
screen get bigger?

For years the medical professional has been looking
after the ill, to make them better. Now,
with Viagra, they're raising the dead!

I would only take Viagra for intellectual
purposes, so my head would swell.

Before Viagra, for some people, making love was
classified as "assault with a dead weapon."

Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland -
a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Viagra Falls, the new waterfall that flows
upward.

Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO."

Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who
is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.

Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy
to see me?

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load
of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the
lift bridges suddenly went up.

If however you do need to take Viagra, remember
to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a
stiff neck.

A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today.
Police have put out an All-Points bulletin:
Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals!
They will face a stiff sentence when convicted
and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Institution.

A guy left his Viagra tabled in his shirt pocket when
he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too
stiff to wear.

Did you hear about Levi's new jeans for Baby
Boomer men?.... They come with just a "Viagra"
more room.

Newsweeks' comments on the trade name Microsoft*
"Let's see... "Micro" and "Soft". Needs Viagra!"

The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk
into a hard drive.
The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off
the hard drive.

For women not-in-the-mood, California bars
now have Viagra-free zones.

New plans are being made to raise the Titanic.
Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and
expect it to come right up.

Scientists developed the idea for Viagra
after studying President Clinton's DNA.

Even so, we're told that the funeral home industry
is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of
new stiffs means an upswing in business.

We received the report today that it is no longer
necessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve
a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up
straight and tall.

Q. What happens if you get the Viagra pill stuck in your throat?
A. You get a stiff neck.

Q. What do you get when you mix viagra with rogaine?
A. Don King.

Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: "I've been
using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! It's the worst
suppository I've ever used."

Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino?
One cup and you're up all night.




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