Text 1307, 78 rader
Skriven 2005-03-11 01:49:22 av Bill Williams (561.funny)
Ärende: 25 Rules for Women..
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25 rules for Women to follow:

1. Sports Center starts at 11:00 PM and runs an hour. This is a great
time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your sister. Do
not bother me!!

2. Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game DO, in fact, constitute
going out to dinner.

3. Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all our
friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J. Crew,
Banana Republic or the local Patagonia store.

4. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

5. Butthead is the smart one.

6. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

7. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

8. Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about "us" and
"the relationship."

9. Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work, the
dishes, cleaning, and grocery shopping.

10. Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are,
watching anything on TBS, playing cards, smoking cigars and picking
out the beer.

11. Socks never constitute a gift.

12. Department stores and malls were designed so that when you want to
look at bed linen, shower curtains or handbags, there are always some
speakers, tires or sporting equipment nearby.

13. We don't know anything about handbags. Don't even ask.

14. We DID water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this
happens.

15. Even if you think he's cute, Kevin Costner can't act.

16. Of course, neither can Elle McPherson, but she had the good sense
to make the movie "Sirens" rather than "Waterworld."

17. Curley is the bald one.

18. Compromise does not mean that we abandon our position in favor of
yours.

19. Sports Illustrated is a better magazine than Cosmopolitan. Just
accept that.

20. It is neither in your interest nor ours to take The Quiz together.

21. Unless you are willing to follow the careers of Mo Vaughn, Cal
Ripken, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, Arnold Schwarzenegger and
Chris Farley, don't expect us to know what Helen Gurley Brown, Hilary
Clinton, Naomi Wolf or your mother are up to.

22. Sex on a weeknight is generally welcome. Three hours of
post-coital conversation is not.

23. Dinner out is a pretty good birthday present. Two tickets to a
ball game are even better.

24. No, you can't have the remote control.

25. If you must take us with you into Victoria's Secret, never, ever
leave us alone. All the old fat ladies make mean faces at us and only
add to our discomfort.

... He who ploughs a straight furrow, is probably in a rut.
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