Text 1442, 212 rader
Skriven 2005-03-27 14:17:52 av George Pope (1:153/307.11)
   Kommentar till text 1437 av mark lewis (1:3634/12)
Ärende: Bone
============
On (27 Mar 05) mark lewis wrote to George Pope...
 ml>  GP> I have 50 years worth of Mad magazines, and still haven't
 ml>  GP> heard of either the above, so they can't be too real!
 ml>
 ml> i doubt seriously that you'll ever see a charo parody in MAD
 ml> magazine... flavor flav possibly but doubtful... you /might/ see a
 ml> parody of either of them on the MAD television show, though...

Nah, don't much like the TV show!  The magazines rock, though!

 ml> you never watched Rowan and Martin's Laugh In?? what about Love Boat
 ml> or Fantasy Island? charo made appearances on those shows as well as
 ml> several of the evening talk shows like johnny carson ;)

Once or twice, aeons ago, but don't recall any details!

 ml> here's more than you likely ever wanted to know about charo O:) i'd
 ml> include a uuencoded picture but i suspect that that would be frowned
 ml> upon more than this posting ;) O:) O:)

I can state authoritatively that, yes, it would be frowned upon!

It's already quite seriously frowned upon that you didn't post a funny
joke or story with your message!  Don't be surprised if there's a
surcharge on your next phone bill!  (but the moderator is usually
lenient when a joke-less poster comes back with 4 or more in a
quickly-subsequent posting!

ObJokes:


         A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the
 marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly
 remarked - "I suppose, like all men who have been married
 before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?"
         "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied.
         "What stopped him?"
         "I started talking about my next husband."


         When my son first start dating he said, "I want to
 marry a good woman, a smart woman, one who'll be a good
 mother to our kids, and a woman who will make me happy."
         I told him he'd better make up his mind.


         The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight
 feet deep.
         After the job was completed the boss returned and
 explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be
 needed.
         "Fill 'er up," he ordered.
         The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a
 problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the
 hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office
 and explained his problem.
         The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you
 get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do.
 You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"


         John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was
 not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the
 customer wanted.  Bob, the owner, had had enough and warned
 John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
         Just then a man came in coughing.  He asked John for
 their best cough syrup.
         Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup.
 Remembering his boss' warning he sold the man a box of Ex-
 Lax and told him to take it all at once.
         The customer did as John said and then walked
 outside and leaned against a  lamppost.
         Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask
 John what had transpired. "He wanted something for his
 cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup.  So, I
 substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once,"
 John explained.
         "Ex-Lax?!! That won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted
 angrily.
         "Sure it will!" John said, pointing at the man
 leaning on the lamppost.  "Just look at him.  He's afraid to
 cough!"


         As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other
 day, I overheard some of the children talking about their
 siblings.
         "My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one.
         "My sister takes gymnastics," said another.
         Not to be outdone, the youngest piped up, "My sister
 takes antibiotics!"


         Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I
 know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone,
 and I know them."
         Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
 "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
         "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can
 prove it."
         So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock
 on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts,
 "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in
 and join me for lunch!"
         Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical.
 After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he
 thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
         "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
         "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
         "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to
 Washington."
         And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots
 Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,
 "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting,
 but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
 coffee first and catch up."
         Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not
 totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds,
 he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to
 name anyone else.
         "The Pope," his boss replies.
         "Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long
 time."
         So off they fly to Rome.
         Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in
 Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I
 can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you
 what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and
 I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
         And he disappears into the crowd headed toward
 the Vatican.
         Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with
 the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he
 finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded
 by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba
 asks him, "What happened?"
         His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until
 you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to
 me asked, 'Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?'"


         A software engineer, a hardware engineer, and their
 manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They
 were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the
 brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing off
 guard rails until it finally ground to a halt along the
 mountainside.
         The occupants of the car were unhurt, but they had a
 problem. They were stuck halfway down the mountain in a car
 with no brakes.
         "I know what we can do," said the manager. "Let's
 have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission
 Statement, define some Goals, and, through a process of
 Continuous Improvement, find a solution to the Critical
 Problems and we'll be on our way."
         "No," said the hardware engineer. "I've got my Swiss
 army knife with me. I can strip down the car's braking
 system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we'll be on our way."
         "Wait," said the software engineer. "Before we do
 anything, shouldn't we push the car back to the top of the
 mountain and see if it happens again?"


         April:  Oh, come on.  Please?
         Ray:  No.  Leave me alone.
         April.  It won't take too long.
         Ray:  I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
         April:  I can't sleep without it.
         Ray:  Why do you think of things like this in
               the middle of the night?
         April:  Because I'm HOT.
         Ray:  You get hot at the darndest times.
         April:  If you loved me I wouldn't have to beg you.
         Ray:  If you loved *me* you'd be more considerate.
         April:  You don't love me any more.
         Ray:  Yeah I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
         April:  (sob-sob)
         Ray:  (aaarrgh)  Alright, I'll do it.
         April:  What's the matter?  Need a flashlight?
         Ray:  I can't *find* it.
         April:  Oh, for God's sake, FEEL for it.
         Ray:  There.  I got it.  Satisfied?
         April:  Oh, God, yes!
         Ray:  Next time you want the window opened, do
               it yourself.


         A woman who plays cards once a month with a group of
 friends was concerned that she always woke her husband when
 she came home around 11:30.
         One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She
 undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed
 nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up
 in bed reading.
         "Darnit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose
 everything?"



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/307.11
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)


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