Text 1547, 162 rader
Skriven 2005-04-05 09:28:42 av George Pope (1:153/307.11)
   Kommentar till text 1533 av MIKE ROSS (1:167/133.0)
Ärende: Pope on a Rope?
=======================
On (04 Apr 05) MIKE ROSS wrote to All...
 MR> Hope it's not too soon for Pope jokes... ah what the heck!

No worries, we're cutting edge here in FUNNY!!!

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                        The Bum
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The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in
their best sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main street
hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope.

One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope
will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an
exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very
good. As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says
something to the bum and then walks right by the local man.

He can't believe it, then it hits him. The pope won't talk to
him, he's concerned for the unfortunate people the poor and and
feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade
clothes with him. He puts on the bums clothing and runs down
the street to line up for another chance for the pope to stop and
talk to him.

Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans
over close and says "I thought I told you to get the hell out of
here!"

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                       NOTE FROM MODERATOR:

              Last week, the Pope spoke favorably of
            the internet, but recommended restrictions
                against violent and sexual content.


      The Top 7 Other Papal Recommendations for the Internet


 7> One-Click Salvation (tm)

 6> New .amen suffix

 5> Replace TCP/IP with doves.

 4> Implement "Kiss My Web Ring".

 3> Attempts to log onto porn sites automatically forward the
    reader to www.say_five_hail_marys.com

 2> Fees for all members-only web sites should be 1/10th of the
    member's income.


 and the Number 1 Other Papal Recommendation for the Internet...


 1> Good news: New P-Mail Instant Messenger works flawlessly
       and efficiently without any spam.
    Bad news: Only available to one.



              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White    ]
              [       http://www.topfive.com       ]


==================================================================

                          Who's Smarter?

   A Catholic boy and a Mormon boy are arguing about which is smarter.
   The Catholic boy suggests they go to his priest in the Catholic
   cathedral and ask him to help them resolve the problem.

   Upon entering the cathedral, the Catholic boy tells the priest of
   their problem figuring out who was smarter - to which the priest
   quickly replied,  "Well, the Catholic boy is smarter, of course."

   The Mormon boy wasn't convinced, so he asked the priest to prove it.
   So, the priest pointed up to the large wall in the cathedral where
   a huge cross with the crucifix stood - also with the two people
   crucified on either side of Him also on the wall. The priest asked
   the Mormon boy who the man in the center was, to which he quickly
   replied, "That's Jesus on the cross - of course!"

                   |        The priest nodded approvingly, then
               \       /      asked, "now who is that on the right
                 .---.          of Him?"  The Mormon boy didn't know.
            '-.  |   |  .-'
              ___|   |___        "Now who is that on His left?" The
         -=  [           ]  =-   Mormon boy didn't know that one
             `---.   .---'       either.
          __||__ |   | __||__
          '-..-' |   | '-..-'    The smug priest now questioned the
            ||   |   |   ||      Catholic boy with the same questions
            ||_.-|   |-,_||      to which he answered all three
          .-"`   `"`'`   `"-.    correctly:
    jgs .'                   '.

   "Who is that in the center?" - "Jesus, of course!" answered the
   Catholic boy.

   "Who is that on the right?" - "That represents the Pope!" said
   the boy.

   "Who is that on the left?" - "That's the High Priest of the
   Catholic Church!" answered the boy confidently.

   The Catholic priest turned and smiled confidently at the little
   Mormon boy and said, "See? It's clear the Catholics are
   smarter...", to which the Mormon boy replied, "That's not fair!
   All we were taught was that Jesus was crucified between a liar
   and a thief!"

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)


Old Pretloski was a minister in a small Polish town. He had
always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God
decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions
Pretloski would like to ask.

Old Pretloski did not need much time to consider, and the first
question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?"

God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time."

Pretloski thought for a while, and then came up with the second
question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one
day?"

Again God had to disappoint Old Pretloski: "Not in your life-time,
I'm afraid."

Pretloski was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the
subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last
question: "Will there ever be another Polish pope?"

God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in My life time."




Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/307.11
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)


--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via the Milky Way! (1:153/307.11)