Text 1671, 65 rader
Skriven 2005-04-13 11:19:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: Another Story
=====================
On Milky Way 04-03-05 (15:26) a Story for GEORGE POPE:


                        LETTER FROM GOD
                         -------------
 Dear George,

         People have been asking why I haven't been much in
evidence lately and why the Hand of God has been conspicuously
lacking in recent events. I'll  tell you. It's because you're
all deaf. Every time I try to get something done, you mishear
it and do something daft instead. But what really bothers me
is the was all my misheard directions are taken as gospel.
Let's start at the beginning. All I did was suggest to Mrs
Adam that perhaps she should consider boycotting South African
apples and what happens? It gets blown up out of all
proportion, and I'm made to look like some kind of fruitist
dictator with a grudge against Granny Smiths.   And take Noah.
Okay, the poor sod was hard of hearing but when I asked for a
park full of wild animals I was expecting a sort of nature
reserve, the sort of thing the kids could visit on a Sunday
and not get their heads bitten off. And what do I get? A
bloody boat. And in the middle of a field. What use is a land
locked boat to a working milk man? So I turn to Gabriel, and
say: "Look Gabe, that guy's off his nut He'll never do his
milk round in that. You'd better send him a float." You'll
never guess what the idiot sent. Then there's old cloth ears
Abraham. There he was, poor old fool, stuck with an idiot
of a son with no job and no hope of employment. I thought it'd
be a good idea for the boy to learn some shorthand, maybe a
crash course in typing. So I said to Abraham, "Look old man,
take some fatherly advice. Take your lad up into the mountains
and secretise him." Next thing I know, he's got Isaac strapped
down and is preparing to perform open heart surgery. Moses was
no better. All I did was criticise his hairstyle, ask if he
wouldn't rather have parting with a red streak. And what does
he do? Leads the tribes of Israel to the edge of the Red Sea
and waits for me to clear him a way through. What did he
expect, miracles? That's the trouble with being omnipotent,
people think you can do anything.  Mind you, some of you
ignore my commands even when you can hear me perfectly well.
Take Mary, for instance. Now I know it's not unfashionable for
unmarried fathers to have too much say what happens to their
offspring, especially when they're not around to take care of
the kid, but I did at least hope she'd follow my advice when
it came to thinking up a name. "You shall call him Wonderful,"
I said. "Marvellous, Magnificent." And what does she choose?
"Jesus". Sounds like your're swearing every time you say it.
"Jesus H. Christ".  What does the "H" stand for? I can't say,
it's too embarrassing.  That's it for now, just make sure
you're listening next time.

Yours ever
God

.I still don't know how that happened?
.           Cheers, I C E-man    0 0
.                                 |
.                               \___/


 * SLMR 2.1a * George, beer kills brain cells <but> only the weak ones!

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)