Text 174, 83 rader
Skriven 2004-09-19 22:20:32 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL
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Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance,
in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In
most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in
baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is
allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player
touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's
out.

Also: in football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played
with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you
from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a
manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same
clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland
Raiders uniform, you'd know the reason for this custom.

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular
spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be
able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier
Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs -- what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups -- who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late
hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end -- might have
extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to
sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic
feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much
unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least
twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human
being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field
general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by
hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if
he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches
his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a
sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the
enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe
at home!
(Attributed to George Carlin, but then, a lot is that isn't)
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