Text 1764, 158 rader
Skriven 2005-04-19 00:12:56 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Good stories
========================
 GP> On (16 Apr 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...

 GS>  Most people work for a good cause:  'cause they need the money.

Funny

 -=[18-Apr-2005 10:30, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> Some people go on welfare because they have eye problems (they can't
   > see going to work!)

OR
   they do need help for medical or other reasons!

 GS>  Most employers are in the novelty business:  It's a novelty when
   >  their people work.

Funny again 

 -=[18-Apr-2005 10:30, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> A lot of employers are surprised to find themselves operating a
   > non-profit business!

THEN

   they sack the employees not the managers?

 GP> More on-the-job stuff. . .
     [ oops looks like the machine or owner didn't enter anything here ]
 GP> Because I care,

  G-day George Pope, Because I care - this is done for you eh!:

Up at Dartmouth, there's a biologist experimenting with
changing the behavior patterns of rodents. When asked about
his work, he usually says he pulls habits out of rats.

Then ---------------------------------------

A student at Boston University wavered for some time between
a career as a proctologist or a job as a barber. He eventually
flipped a coin to see how it came out; heads... or tails.

Then ---------------------------------------

After his classroom had been remodeled, the college professor
was heard mooning about, missing the good old dais.

Then ---------------------------------------

A young man returned from a dance at a coastal resort. He was
sporting a huge black eye. When asked if he had run into a door,
he replied he had been struck by the beauty of the place.

Then ---------------------------------------

Long ago, Elmir the Curious sailed a small craft far away.
   He sought the Elixir of Youth. It was said that a bush grew
somewhere along the river bank, the leaves of which, when
cooked for many hours, produced a substance which could ward
off the effects of age.
   One afternoon he happened upon the bush!!!
   He cooked two vials of a strange pungent substance, and
called all the elders of the city, explaining that he was
prepared to sell his Elixir of Youth.
   How do we know it will work, they asked.
   Elmir was incensed by these doubts. As they watched he drank
it all himself.
   He never spoke of it again, though he lived for many years.
Many inquired, but his lips were sealed. You see, he had
invented Elmir's glue.


> OBDick for Mr. <+]::-{)}  (Cyberpope(the Bishop of ROM!))


            Incomplete Computer Glossary
            ============================

BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in 'Our son's
     computer cost quite a bit.'

BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much
      time bragging about your computer skills.

BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer
     screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: What computer magazine
     companies do to you after getting your name on the mailing list.

CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid
       having to leave their computers for meals.

COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much
      time at the computer and not enough time studying.

CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform
        as in "You $#$%c% computer!"

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard
      for seven hours at a clip.

DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you
      install you computer.

ERROR: What you made the first time you went into a computer showroom
       'just to look.'

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house
                your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE: What your secretary can do to her nails six and a half hours
      a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to
        lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food. (See Chips).

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes ano other heave equipment
          you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer.

IBM: The kind of missile your family would like to drop on you so that
     you'll pay attention to them again.

MENU: What you'll never see again after buying your computer, since
      you'll be to poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word
         actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want
         to see you hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television screen
          before you hooked you computer up to it.

RAM: What you do the side of you computer when it's not working
     properly.

RETURN: What lot of people do to their computers after only a week and
        a half.

TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains, and really good
          deals on hot computers.

WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of when you accidentally erase
        a program that took you three days to set up.



+=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+
|  /\_/\   "I think, ||    Gregory W. Sears      ||[ YOUR  COMPANY ]|
|  |o -|   I'll open ||  gwsears@hotmail.com     ||[  SLOGAN HERE  ]|
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| ,' U ',   message" ||     ---Cheers!---        ||[ $1000 A MONTH!]|
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... George. . . If it has TITS or TIRES, you gonna have trouble with it!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)