Text 185, 103 rader
Skriven 2004-09-20 12:51:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av DAVE COBLE
Ärende: BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL
=============================
I think it should have concluded with:

Baseball is Kerry; Football is Bush!


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)



DC> Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance,
DC> in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In
DC> most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in
DC> baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is
DC> allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player
DC> touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's
DC> out.
DC> 
DC> Also: in football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played
DC> with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you
DC> from scoring.
DC> 
DC> In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a
DC> manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same
DC> clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland
DC> Raiders uniform, you'd know the reason for this custom.
DC> 
DC> Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular
DC> spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be
DC> able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
DC> 
DC> I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
DC> 
DC> Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
DC> Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
DC> 
DC> Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!
DC> Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier
DC> Field or War Memorial Stadium.
DC> 
DC> Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
DC> Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
DC> 
DC> In football you wear a helmet.
DC> In baseball you wear a cap.
DC> 
DC> Football is concerned with downs -- what down is it?
DC> Baseball is concerned with ups -- who's up?
DC> 
DC> In football you receive a penalty.
DC> In baseball you make an error.
DC> 
DC> In football the specialist comes in to kick.
DC> In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
DC> 
DC> Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late
DC> hitting and unnecessary roughness.
DC> Baseball has the sacrifice.
DC> 
DC> Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
DC> In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
DC> 
DC> Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
DC> Football has the two minute warning.
DC> 
DC> Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end -- might have
DC> extra innings.
DC> Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to
DC> sudden death.
DC> 
DC> In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic
DC> feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much
DC> unpleasantness.
DC> In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least
DC> twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human
DC> being.
DC> 
DC> And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
DC> 
DC> In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field
DC> general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by
DC> hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if
DC> he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches
DC> his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a
DC> sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the
DC> enemy's defensive line.
DC> 
DC> In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe
DC> at home!
DC> (Attributed to George Carlin, but then, a lot is that isn't)
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... nfx v3.1                                                                 

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