Text 1854, 135 rader
Skriven 2005-04-30 06:22:48 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Story
=================
 GP> On (20 Apr 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...

 GS>  GP> So far the only unauthorized access attempts are by my cat, and
   >    > my simply closing the lid keeps her out just fine!
   >  G-day George Pope, good to hear you are one of the ~new-age~ jokers
   >  that drop the lid when you zip your flap for a female!

Funny

 -=[21-Apr-2005 10:14, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> Why is that good to hear?
   > I'm only doing it for the CAT!!!

  G-day George Pope, well that is a start Mate! '-)
                     maybe when you get a sheila, this practise will be
                     very valuable if/or/when the chance arrives! '-)

 GS>   G-day George Pope, cool- that may work in north-america Mate.
   > Down-under the  shitter*room  is a different room from the
   > bath, shower & sink-room! '-)

 GP> Yes, here, sometimes, too, but don't you have "loos" occasionally (eg.
   > downstairs when the main bathing room is UP?) which have just a toilet
   > & sink?

  G-day George Pope, oh the "On-suite" you say! '-)

> OBjoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

    A parrot has the habit of jumping on the hens, and the farmer tells
him that if he does it again he will pull out every feather on its head.
The parrot jumps on the hens again, and his head feathers are all pulled
out.  Meanwhile, the farmer's wife, who has pretentions to culture, is
having a formal dinner.  She appoints the parrot to be butler and to
tell the guests where to put their hats and coats.

   The party proceeds without mishap, with the parrot announcing "Ladies
to the right!  Gentlemen to the left!"  Suddenly two bald-headed men
enter, and the parrot says, "You two chicken-Fuckers come out in the hen
house with me."
   The next day, the farmer, fed up with the parrots behavior, brings
him to town and sells him to a merchant.  Another farmer enters the
merchant's store and and orders four dozen chickens.  The merchant tells
the farmer he only has 47 chickens, but he will throw in the parrot.

   "Its a deal." says the farmer.

   A mile from town, the farmer turns around and finds all 47 chickens
walking in the road behind the wagon, and the parrot standing on the
tail board shouting, "If any of you change your minds, let me know and
you can ride."


> OBjoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

 The following are thought to be the worlds worst puns:

 1.  The Eskimo stabbed himself with an icicle.  He died of cold cuts.

 2.  In his dessert list, a San Antonio restaurateur suggests,
      "Remember the alamode."

 3.  There was an advice-to-the-lovelorn editor who insisted,
     "If at first you don't succeed, try a little ardor."

 4.  The commuter's Volkswagen went down once too often.  So he
     consigned it to the Old Volks Home.

 5.  When a fire chief responded to a call from a lingerie shop,
     he found no trace of a blaze.  His official report read,
     "Falsie alarm."

 6.  The wise old crow perched himself on a telephone wire.  He
     wanted to make a long-distance caw.

 7.  A talkative musician couldn't hold a job.  Every time he
     opened his mouth, he put his flute in it.

 8.  A farmer with relatives in East Germany heard that a food
     package he had sent had never arrived.  Optimistically, he
     assured them, "Cheer up!  The wurst is yet to come."

 9.  When the promoter of a big flower show was told that a
     postponement was necessary because the exhibits could not
     be installed on time, he explained to his backers, "We were
     simply caught with our plants down."

10.  There was an unscheduled event in a Baghdad harem.  The
     sultan barged in unexpectedly - and his 62 wives let out a
     terrified sheikh.

11.  A critic declared that he always praised the first show of a new
     theatrical season.  "Who am I," he asked, "to stone the first
     cast?"

12.  Egotist:  a man who's always me-deep in conversation.

13.  She was unanimously voted the most popular girl in school
     by the male half of the senior class.  The weighed her in
     the balance and found her wanton.

14.  A hen stopped right in the middle of the highway.  She
     wanted to lay it on the line.

15.  The husband of a talkative wife sighed, "I've given that
     woman the best ears of my life."

16.  "It's raining cats and dogs," one man remarked.  "I know,"
     said another.  "I just stepped into a poodle."

17.  In Peru, a gallant cavalier fished a drowning maiden out of
     a lake -- and married her before the Inca was dry.

18.  An eccentric bachelor passed away and left a nephew nothing
     but 392 clocks.  The nephew is now busy winding up the estate.

19.  The baseball pitcher with a sore arm was in the throws of agony.

20.  A Turkish salesman promoted an audience with an old-time sultan.
     "I don't recall your name," said the sultan pleasantly, "but your
     fez is familiar."


     . . . . o o o o o
           _____      0
  ____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.
 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

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 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)