Text 2013, 143 rader
Skriven 2005-05-13 04:53:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av GREG SEARS
Ärende: Re: Story
=================
GS>   Mostley cause Me Mates saying "Jesus the I C E-man is leaving!" '-)

And, of course, Jesus responds with, "I can bloody well SEE that! Why tell me
the obvious?"



        And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused
wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a Son and wrapped
Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger because there was no
room for them in the inn. 

        And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said; "I bring you
tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the
Lord." 

        "There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee, who happened to be
strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as
religious symbols, and the stable was on public property, where such
symbols were not allowed to land, or even hover. 

        "And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a
Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too." 

        Joseph had a bright idea "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there
near the ox and the ass?" he said, eager to avoid sectarian strife.

        "That would definitely help, said the Pharisee, who knew as well as
anyone that whenever a savior appeared, judges usually liked to be on
the safe side and surround it with deer or wood- land creatures of some
sort. 

        "Just to clinch it, throw in a candy cane and a couple of elves and
snowmen, too." he said. "No court can resist that!"

        Mary asked, "What does my son's birth have to do with snow- men?"

        "Snowpersons," cried a young woman, changing the subject before it
veered dangerously toward religion. 

        Off to the side of the crowd, a Philistine was painting the Nativity
scene.

        Mary complained that she and Joseph looked too tattered and worn in the
picture.

        "Artistic license," he said. "I've got to show the plight of the
haggard homeless in a greedy, uncaring society in winter." he quipped.

        "We're not haggard or homeless, the inn was just full," said Mary.

        "Whatever," said the painter.

        Two women began to argue fiercely. One said she objected to Jesus'
birth "Because it privileged motherhood." The other scoffed at virgin
births, but said that if they encouraged more attention to diversity in
family forms and the rights of single mothers, well, then, she was all
for them.

        "I'm not a single mother, all Jewish women of my time are called
virgins during the first year of their marriage" Mary started to say,
but she was cut off by a third woman who insisted that swaddling clothes
are a form of child abuse, since they restrict the natural movement of babies.

        With the arrival of 10 child advocates, all trained to spot infant
abuse and manger rash, Mary and Joseph were pushed to the edge of the
crowd, where arguments were breaking out over how many reindeer (or what
mix of reindeer and seasonal sprites) had to be installed to compensate
for the infant's unfortunate religious character.

        An older man bustled up, bowling over two merchants, who had been busy
debating whether an elf is the same as a fairy and whether the elf/fairy
should be shaking hands with Jesus in the crib or merely standing to the
side, jumping around like a sports mascot.

        "I'd hold off on the reindeer, the man said, explaining that the use of
asses and oxen as picturesque backdrops for Nativity scenes carries the
subliminal message of human dominance. 

        He passed out two leaflets, one denouncing manger births as invasions
of animal space, the other arguing that stables are "penned
environments" where animals are incarcerated against their will. He had
no opinion about elves or candy canes.

        Signs declaring "Free the Bethlehem 2" began to appear, referring to
the obviously exploited ox and ass. Someone said the halo on Jesus' head
was elitist.

        Mary was exasperated. "And what about you, old mother?" she said
sharply to an elderly woman. Are you here to attack the shepherds as
prison guards for excluded species, maybe to complain that singing in
Latin identifies us as Roman oppressors, or just to say that I should
have skipped patriarchal religiosity and joined some dumb new-age
goddess religion?"

        "None of the above," said the woman, "I just wanted to tell you that
the Magi are here."

        Sure enough, the three wise men rode up. The crowd gasped,

        "They're all male!" And, "Not very multicultural!"

        "Balthasar here is black," said one of the Magi.

        "Yes, but how many of you are gay or disabled?" someone shouted.

        A committee was quickly formed to find an impoverished lesbian
wise-person among the halt and lame of Bethlehem.

        A calm voice said, "Be of good cheer, Mary, you have done well and your
son will change the world."

        At last, a sane person, Mary thought. She turned to see a radiant and
confident female face. 

        The woman spoke again, "There is one thing, though, Religious holidays
are important, but can't we learn to celebrate them in ways that unite,
not divide? For instance, instead of all this business about 'Gloria in
excelsis Deo,' why not just 'Seasons Greetings'?"

        Mary said, "You mean my son has entered human history to deliver the
message, 'Hello, it's winter?'"

        "That's harsh, Mary," said the woman. "Remember, your son could make it
big in mid-winter festivals, if he doesn't push the religion thing too
far. Centuries from now, in nations yet unborn, people will give each
other pricey gifts and have big office parties on his birthday. And
that's not chopped liver!"



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