Text 2021, 134 rader
Skriven 2005-05-15 03:13:06 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Application to be a Comoderator
===========================================
 GP> On (13 May 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
 GS>  GP> "Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
   >   G-day George Pope,
   >   The way I heard that story you said "I can't get IT up this
   > morning!", " that really hurts" '-)

Funny

 -=[13-May-2005 08:28, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> Nope. . . everything is working fine!

  G-day George Pope, ok maybe a differant George purhaps! '-)

 GP>         The fourth bride looked around, then said, "What a
   > rotten day!"

Here is possibly one other reason for that.......

     Ode To A Mammogram

For years 'n years, they told me
"Be careful of your breasts
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law. . .
Guarded them very carefully,
And always wore a bra.

After 30 years of careful care,
The doctor found a lump,
He ordered up a MAMMOGRAM
To look inside that clump.

"Stand up very close," the nurse said,
As she got my tit in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! There! That's just fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing down,
My BOOB was in a vise!!!

My skin was stretched 'n stretched
From way up by my chin,
And my poor TIT was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin!!!

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within its vise-like grip....
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!!!

"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine,
I can't breathe and woozy I am getting.

"There, that was good," I heard her
As the room was slowly swaying,
"Now, let's get the other one,"
"Lord have mercy," I was praying.

It squeezed me up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done
To her tender little hide!

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now,
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped...Ker-Pow!!!

This machine was made by man,
Of this I have no doubt...
I'd like to get his balls in there,
For months he'd go "WITHOUT".

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

This story was told to me by a friend of a friend.  I don't know if it's
true or not, but makes for a great story.  This (supposedly) takes place
before radar detectors were as popular as they are today.

A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders
along a well traveled stretch of highway.  The location, at a bend in
the road, allowed him to hide his car out of sight of oncoming traffic
while setting up his radar to nab any speeders who passed by.  He had
used this location successfully a number of times, especially on
holidays, and decided to use it again one Labor Day weekend.

The officer arrived at his hiding place and set himself up, settling
down to wait for the first speeders to appear.  After a half hour or so
the officer hadn't seen anybody speeding. In fact most of the cars that
passed him were travelling exactly at the speed limit, and some of the
passengers in the passing cars were even smiling and waving at him.  He
couldn't believe this was happening since his hiding place was so well
concealed.

Finally, after realizing that virtually all the passing cars knew he was
there, the officer decided that something was wrong and went
investigate. He got out of his car and walked up the road a short
distance.  About 100 yards before his hiding place the officer found the
problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a
huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD".  A little more
investigative work led the officer to the boys accomplice, another boy
about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a
bucket at his feet full of change.


>OBJoke: for Mr.  <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

The parents in the heat of the moment had accidentally left the bedroom
door open a bit one evening, and their small daughter had gotten an
eyefull.  The next day she approached her mom and said "Last nite I saw
you and daddy doing something funny.  He had his peepee between your
legs".  "Yes dear," answered the mom, "that's how we get babies.".  "But
then later", continued the girl, "I saw him put his peepee in your
mouth".  "Well dear", answered the mom, "that's how we get jewelry".


Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... George Pope. . . . Said that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2?

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