Text 2126, 166 rader
Skriven 2005-06-14 07:13:42 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: F unny
==================
 GP> On (11 Jun 05) Greg Sears wrote to Cindy Haglund...

 GS>   Are zebras white with black stripes? Or black with white stripes?

Funny

 -=[13-Jun-2005 11:37, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> Depends if they're males or females, DUH!

 GS>   Can an animal be multi-lingual? And if so, how could we tell?

Funny

 -=[13-Jun-2005 11:37, George Pope replied IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 GP> Ask it in several languages.

  G-day George Pope, Funny you replied so well to Greg Sears........

A Gadzillion Other Things To Think About

  Did you ever see a golfer pick up a golf ball and comment on how much
it looks like the size of a hail stone?

  Do pediatricians play miniature golf?

  How come golfers yell 'four' take 'five' and write down 'three'?

  How come people don't want to be 'below par' EXCEPT when they're
playing golf?

  If all the fun of golf is in hitting the ball why do you have more fun
the less times you hit it?

  If Gary Player, the South African golfer, became a naturalized U.S.
citizen, would he be an 'African American'?

  If there were no golf balls how would we measure hail?

  In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and
yelled, it was called witchcraft, but in civilized society today, don't
we call the same thing golf?

  Is a handicapped golfer a man who plays golf with his wife?

  Is the reason most people play golf simply because it gives them a
chance to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise?

  Is the reason the game is called GOLF because all the other four letter
words were taken?

  Isn't golf a lot like taxes? Don't you drive hard to get to the green
and then wind up in the hole?

  Isn't it true that golf is a game in which the slowest people in the
world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind you?

  Where are the most lies told? On the golf course or to the IRS?

  Why are there no erasers on the pencils used for miniature golf?

  Why do golfers blame fate for most accidents but feel personally
responsible when they make a hole-in-one?

  Why do golfers get so violently upset if you happen to pick up their
golf ball by mistake? Isn't it suppose to be a game for relaxation?

  Why do golfers have to wear trousers and a shirt with an alligator on
it?

  Why do golfers shout 'Fore'? Shouldn't they yell 'Get out of the way'?

  Why do people want to hit a small ball with a stick and chase it
around?

  Why don't golf courses have CAT legs too?

  Why don't golfers shout FIVE or SIX?

  Why is it that garden-variety golfers will shell out a thousand bucks
for a driver they use 10 times per round (with a head on it as large as
a butternut squash) yet they'll gripe about paying $200 for a putter they
use three times as much?

  Why on a golf course is the area around the hole called the 'green'?
Isn't everything green?

  Wouldn't miniature golf be more popular if they gave a $275000 reward
for getting a hole-in-one like they do in the Masters Tournament instead
of just a free game?


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

OH, CANADA

My two daughters drove to Windsor, Ontario, when the currency exchange
rate was very favorable to Americans.  At a dance club they saw the
posted cover charge:  "Canadian:  $6.  American:  $5."

One sister whispered, "Who would be stupid enough to say they were
Canadian?"

Daniel M. Sinnott in Reader's Digest


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

UNEMPLOYED CANADIANS GET MORE NOOKIE!
By Linda Galeazzi (Editor In Chief)

January 8, 1999.  According to a national survey, Canadians who live in
areas with a high unemployment rate are having more sex and yes, BETTER
sex than Canadians who actually have a job!

"So this is what they mean by economic growth!" said one man, gazing
lovingly at his erection.  "Well, wo-hoo and paint me horny!  I knew
there had to be an UP side to being on welfare, scrounging for food
every month and having to sell my beloved Gordon Lightfoot record
collection to pay my electricity bills!  I have sex!  And man, does that
ever make poverty bearable!"

His wife, pregnant with their eighteenth child, was less inclined to
agree.

According to the survey, people in the hard-hit Atlantic provinces --
Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick for
all you ignoramuses out there -- are having more sex than Western
Canadians, where unemployment has not run as rampant.  Indeedely,
Atlantic Canadians have sex 8.28 times a month, as opposed to the 6.57
times a month people in prosperous British Columbia have sex.  We at
CyberStones can only conclude that the .28 and .57 refer to quickies in
the back seat of a car where only one partner achieved orgasm.

French-speaking Quebecers have sex 7.78 times a month -- though,
obviously not with ME -- but according to one insider, Quebecers will
not rest until their unemployment rates skyrocket and they can prove
themselves to be "as horny as those English bastards in the Maritimes."

The Atlantic provinces and Quebec, for your information, all have
unemployment rates above the nation average of 8 percent.  There is no
confirmation to the rumors that they willingly forfeited jobs and
economic investment in order to keep their libidos running at an
optimum.

To the West of Quebec, sexual interest and frequency declines.  Ontario
showed an average of 7.18 sexual encounters a month; 7.09 in Manitoba
and Saskatchewan and 6.91 in Alberta.

"I love having sex as often as I do," said one Atlantic Canadian.  "The
only downside is that I really don't have anything to do with the other
91.62 percent of my time.  Sometimes when I try to convince my husband
to have sex with me, he says, 'According to the survey, it's not time
yet!'  So, like, our men are horny, yeah, but they're also sticklers for
details and stuff," added the frustrated woman.


... >             ooo
... >            c| |
... >   __m_00_m__|_|__  Cheers, I C E-man

... >                     --spying with free beer at the wall for ALL.

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