Text 2195, 162 rader
Skriven 2005-06-24 08:13:52 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: F unny
==================
 GS>   How did they get the air inside of a tennis ball?

Funny

 -=[23-Jun-2005 10:41, George Pope replied IN a message to GREG SEARS]=-

 GP> It's actually a soap bubble with REALLY thick walls!

  G-day George Pope, and they paint IT yellow as well eh! '-)

 GP> Another collection of short stories. . .

  Apparently Bruce Springsteen took two years to record 'Born in the
U.S.A.' album. With all that time why didn't he have time to write 'Born
in the United States of America'?

  Are you suppose to feed a boogie fever?

  Did you know there is an old Elton John song entitled 'This Song Has No
Title'? Isn't that wrong?

  If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares why does he keep on doing it?

  If the Beatles were so good why did they need Oasis to re-write all
their songs?

  Is it possible for anyone to listen to the William Tell Overture and
not think of The Lone Ranger?

  Just how much IS that doggy in the window? You know that one with the
waggedy tail.

  There are some songs that are called 'live recordings', but if a song
was really live then it couldn't be a recording, could it?

  What does Queen Elizabeth sing during the British national anthem? God
save me?

  What if the Hokey-Pokey 'is' really what it's all about?

  Where did the Purple People Eater come from?

  Who did put the Bop in the Bop Sha Bop?

  Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

  Why did Yankee Doodle Dandy call the feather in his hat "Macaroni"?

  Why exactly do we have to stand for the National Anthem? Why is it so
respectful? Do you assume a person respects you just because they're
standing?

  Would you REALLY like to swing on a star?

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

ROAD RAGE
By Art Buchwald (December 2, 1999)

One of the most popular contact sports in the United States is Road Rage.
It is now played on the highways and byways of the country.

The great players are those drivers with short tempers who take out their
anger on other cars.  It used to be all verbal, but it is now getting
more physical, particularly among people who forgot to take their Prozac.

Donald Anchorman, who wrote the best-selling book, "I Spit on Your
Windshield," told me, "Road Rage now involves more people than baseball,
basketball, football and hockey combined.  It's also responsible for more
ulcers and migraine headaches than any other sport.  It used to take
place only during rush hour, but now it is played day and night, even on
secondary roads."

Anchorman said the game begins as soon as the driver is on the highway,
and it helps if the person has just had a fight with his wife.  Suddenly
he realizes the vehicle in front of him is going too slow.  His first
play is to put his hand on the horn.  If this does no good, he passes
alongside the car and shakes his fist at the driver.  He also mouths some
of the more familiar curse words.  If this is not enough the ultimate
shot for the enraged driver is to stick his third finger up in the air at
the other driver.  This gesture is worth a thousand words.

"What makes Road Rage so exciting is when the other guy decides to fight
back.  Then you have two cars and two crazy people in play.  They try to
cut each other off or even hit the backs of each other's cars.

"By this time motorists on the highway have noticed what is going on.
They pick up their cell phones and call 911.  The Super Bowl of Road Rage
comes when both the drivers signal to each other to pull over to the side
of the road to punch it out.

"This is a true story.  A friend of mine named Blake spent 10 years
learning karate.  He was on the highway in Los Angeles when a Porsche cut
him off.  Blake sped up and cut the Porsche off.  The other gentleman
then went into high gear and shot around Blake to cut him off again.
Finally, Blake pulled up next to the Porsche and motioned to the driver
to get over to the side of the road.

"After all those years Blake thought the karate lessons would finally pay
off.  He pulled up on the apron in front of the Porsche.  In the mirror
he saw the driver get out of his car and walk toward him.

"Blake reached down to unbuckle his seat belt.  Unfortunately, it
wouldn't unfasten.  While Blake sat there fighting with his belt, the
other driver walked up and punched him in the face.  Then he got back in
his Porsche and drove away."

Anchorman said, "This is Road Rage at its finest."

Anchorman told me the only thing worse than Road Rage is Parking Rage.
He said, "This occurs when one person believes another has stolen his
parking place.  What makes Parking Rage so dangerous is that both
automobiles are not moving.  People have been known to go through the
roof when they believe someone has stolen their spot.

"There are now police reports coming in from all over the country
concerning violence between parkers.  People will fight to the death for
their space.  If they don't fight, it is the only time you will see grown
men cry."

Copyright  1999 Los Angeles Times Syndicate


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

From: Bob Levi <boblevi@mindspring.com>

   As most of you know, I love to cook. One of my favorite ingredients is
fresh fennel. Often I'll bake fish topped with sauteed sliced fennel and
shallots along with some lemon zest and lemon juice. Give it a try
sometime. While I was making this dish one night, the following popped
into my head...

   Although carp is a scavenger fish and has a bad reputation among many
people, the true fish connoisseur recognizes that carp, when prepared
correctly, can be a wonderful gastronomical experience. I recall reading
about a gourmet society that held a competition among its members for
recipes that used this underrated fish as the main ingredient. One
enterprising member created a marvelous dish that was declared the
winner. Using an entire carp, the recipe called for baking it with fresh
fennel and then topping the fish and fennel with a special light sauce
that was based on Dom Perignon champagne. The dish was considered to be
sinfully delicious by the judges and anyone who tried it.

   A food magazine reporter covering the competition noticed that in
preparing the dish, the chef needed to vigorously whisk the champagne
sauce ingredients for a long period of time. The reporter wondered if
this activity could possible cause wrist injury and mentioned it in his
story. When the article on the event was published in the magazine, a
headline writer entitled the piece ... The Carp and Fennel - Sin Dom.
(By Bob Levi)



... >             ooo
... >            c| |
... >   __m_00_m__|_|__  Cheers, I C E-man

... >                     --spying with free beer at the wall for ALL.

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