Text 2203, 82 rader
Skriven 2005-06-24 08:38:50 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Bone
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 07

                  Is Thinking Ruining Your Life?


  It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
  then to loosen up.  Inevitably though, one thought led to another,
  and soon I was more than just a social thinker.  I began to think
  alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.
  Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
  thinking all the time.

         :           I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking
     '.  _  .'       and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop my-
    -=  (~)  =-      self.
     .'  #  '.
                     I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could
      /"""""         read Thoreau and Kafka.  I would return to the
     |  (')')        office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
     C     _)        exactly we are doing here?"
      \   _|
       \__/          Things weren't going so great at home either.  One
      <___Y>         evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife
     /  \ :\\        about the meaning of life.  She spent that night at
    /   |  :|\       her mother's.
    |___|  :|/\
     | |   :|\ \     I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.  One day
     \ \   :| \ \_   the boss called me in.  He said, "Skippy, I like you,
      \ \==L|  \\\   and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has
      ///` ||        become a real problem.  If you don't stop thinking on
       |   ||        the job, you'll have to find another job."  This gave
       |   ||        me a lot to think about.
       |   ||
       |   ||        I came home early after my conversation with the
       |   ||        boss.  "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
       |   ||
       [___]]        "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want
  jgs  (____))       a divorce!"
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                     "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

  "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.  "You think as much as
  college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if
  you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

  "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
  I'd had enough.  "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
  the door.

  I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with the NPR
  station on the radio.  I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the
  big glass doors... they didn't open.  The library was closed.

  To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
  night.

  As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
  Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye...

             "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"

  You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
  Anonymous poster.

  Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.  I never miss
  a TA meeting.  At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last
  week it was "Porky's."  Then we share experiences about how we avoided
  thinking since the last meeting.

  I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.  Life just
  seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

 

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