Text 2227, 145 rader
Skriven 2005-06-26 21:10:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av GREG SEARS
Ärende: F unny
==============
GS> A businessman was aboard the redeye, when turbulence shook the plane,
GS> causing the flight attendant to spill hot coffee in his lap. "I'm so
GS> sorry, sir," the flustered flight attendant said. "Are you all right?"
GS>
GS> "I think so," he replied. "But tell me, was that regular coffee or decaf?
GS> "
GS>
GS> "Regular," she replied
GS>
GS> "Just my luck," he moaned. "Now it's going to be up all night."

To which she replied, with a questioning wink, "Oh, really? We have a LAYover
cumming up at the next airport!"

More on flying. . .

 Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned
around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it
finally took off.

 A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant,  "What was the
problem?"

 "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he
explained.

 "It took us awhile to find a new pilot."

And 1 more:


BUYING PAINT FROM A HARDWARE STORE

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?

Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and premium for $18.

How many gallons would you like?

Customer: Five gallons of regular quality, please.

Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.


BUYING PAINT FROM AN AIRLINE

Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?

Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.

Customer: Depends on what?

Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.

Customer: How about giving me an average price?

Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon,
       and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.

Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend
       to use it?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 version?

Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to
       start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting
       until at least Sunday.

Customer: You've got to be kidding!

Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check to
       see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it
       to you.

Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You
          have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.

Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have it. It may
       be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons
       on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to
       $12.

Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking!

Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times
       a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store
       with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want
       the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on
       with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?

Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy
          six gallons just to make sure I have enough.

Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then
       don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible
       confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: What?

Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen,
       bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before
       you do the bed- room, you will be in violation of our tariffs.

Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the paint? I
          already paid you for it!

Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it
       is.  We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all the
       paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of
       problems.

Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I
          don't keep painting until after Saturday night!

Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.

Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to buy my paint.

Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules.
       Thanks for painting with our airline.



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|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
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