Text 2394, 292 rader
Skriven 2005-08-13 23:56:06 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
     Kommentar till en text av Greg Sears
Ärende: F unny
==============
On (10 Aug 05) Greg Sears wrote to GEORGE POPE...
 GS> Surprise........We do get Yank_baseball_games on SKY..pay-to-view! '-)

Is this a positive thing?

 GS> ..The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

Oh yeah?  I've never seen a guinea pig mentioned in the Bible!

 GS> ..Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any
 GS>   kind of life.

What about all the bees that get killed when smoked, to get access to
the hive?
And how about milk?  What life is destroyed to get milk?

 GS> ..The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

That's the most common FIRST name, but the most common FAMILY name is
Cheng -- I don't think there are a whole lot of people named "Mohammed
Cheng", though, but I could be wrong!

 GS> ..Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the
 GS>   Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

He probably makes more in one DAY than they(combined) make in a year!

 GS> ..Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop
 GS>   faster than the rest of us.

Whatever the hell THAT is!

Sounds like a new kind of cancer!

 GS> ..The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.

Unless it has a cold. . .

 GS> ..The longest place name still in use is:
 GS>   Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokai
 GS> hen
 GS>   -uakitanatahu - a New Zealand hill.

You ever been there, Greg, can you personally verify the veracity of
this claim?

 GS> ..An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

I know people the same can be said of them!

Telephone troubles, allegedly a true story. . .


Today, at last....

Telephone installer arrives "Hello, I am here to install your two phone
lines."

Us: "No, it's five additional lines."

TI: "Nope, only three left to go, we put three in last Thursday."

Us: "Impossible, the cable wasn't finished until last Friday!"

TI: "Well, my order shows only two lines and says three were already
installed."

Us: "Look at the Network Interface Box, only one line there."

TI: "Dang, you're right, you got only one line. But the records show you have
four in total and you have been already billed for the installation and
service of three more lines since last Thursday."

Us: "So you are putting five more in today, then."

TI: "No, can't do that, my work order is for installing two lines only."

Us: "Who is going to install the other three lines and when?"

TI: "They were already installed last Thursday!"

Us: "No, you didn't see them, did you?"

TI: "Nope, they aren't here but my paperwork says they are so they can't be
installed unless you disconnect them first."

Us: "How can we disconnect lines we never had?"

TI: "I don't know for sure, you need to call the business office about that."

Us: "I did, they said that we are being billed for four lines but only have
one."

TI: "Well, just disconnect the three you don't want and I'll add the two you
do want and all will be fine."

Us: "NO! We want six lines."

TI: "Easy, disconnect the three you don't have, call for installation again
and get three more put in."

Us: "Pay for installation again too on those three lines?"

TI: "That's the department of the business office but since you don't want the
three lines we put in last Thursday today, you need to disconnect them and
when you decide you want them again, sure you have to pay to get them put in
again."

Us: "But no one changed their mind! The three lines were never installed here,
you can see that!"

TI: "Yup but I can only go by my paperwork and if it says you got four lines
now, then you got four lines now. I am gonna put in two more and you can call
and disconnect three and then get them put in again. That'll fix our records
and you'll be all set."

Us: "So we pay this month for installing those three lines we never had, pay
for several days of service, disconnect them and then pay to install them
again."

TI: "Well those three lines were turned on for you last Thursday, I just
checked."

Us: "What? How can that be, the lines aren't in our Network Interface Box."

TI: "But they were turned on and working on our Central Office Box two miles
away."

Us: "So to use those lines what were we supposed to do, drive two miles and
plug the phones in with very long cords?"

TI: "I guess you could have done that if you wanted but we keep the box
locked."

Us: "So what can you do today?"

TI: "I don't rightly know for sure."

Call made by us to supervisor..... problem explained.

Super: "Records show three new lines installed last Thurday but there is no
employee number of the person who installed them listed."

Us: "The cable wasn't even finished until Friday, that's impossible! So now
what happens?"

Super: "Give me the installer..."

Super to TI: "Just put the five lines in."

TI: "Can't do that, I don't have a work order."

Super: "We'll make up a work order and fix it later. Oh, can't do that either
since we can't make up a work order for lines already installed unless they
order three MORE lines."

TI: "See, I can only put in two more lines."

Super: "They have been waiting six weeks, guess if they get two more lines it
should hold them for a while."

Us: "NO! We need SIX lines."

Super: " Well if we disconnect the three that weren't really installed last
Thursday, we can connect three new ones with different phone numbers."

Us: "No! We wanted those phone numbers."

Super: "Can't do that, you already used them."

Us: "Huh?"

Super: "Ok, we can order you three more lines, order the disconnect of the
three old ones and the paper work will be in order. But you are going to get
different phone numbers. We can have an installer come out for the three new
lines in about ten days."

Us: "We have been waiting six weeks and they promised us a maximum of 30 days!
This is delaying it even more."

Super: "This isn't a delay, this is a whole new order and we have 30 days to
get those installed. Oh, wait a minute, we're going to need to send
engineering out to be sure you can get those three new lines. Might take up to
30 days."

Us: "But they already installed a 25 pair cable and we could get 25 lines if
we wanted."

Super: "That was a different order, we have to verify each order as it comes
in."

Us: "Why can't you just give us the three lines that are at the Central Office
Box?"

Super: "Because they aren't your lines."

Us: "What do you mean, they are supposed to be our lines."

Super: "Sorry, you didn't want them installed."

Us: "Yes, we did! Tell the installer to install them, we want them!"

Super: "Too late, you didn't want them last Thursday so we didn't put them
in."

Us: "Yes, we did, no one came to the house to install them at the house."

Super: "Maybe you weren't home."

Us: "Yes we were."

Super: "So maybe he couldn't find the house."

Us: "So why didn't he call us."

Super: "Your line wasn't working. The one line you do have is still connected
to the shot up lines so you know it doesn't work 75% of the time. How could he
call when you have a busted line?"

Us: "We have complained about that and now that the new cable is in they are
supposed to switch it to the new cable."

Super: "That is correct but the new cable wasn't finished until Friday and
there is no work order to switch it."

Us: "So make a work order to do that."

Super: "I can't, that's a different department. You need to call repair."

Us: "Repair can't do it. We called! That's part of the construction
department."

Super: "So call construction."

Us: "We did, they said the installer had to do that."

Super: "But he doesn't have a work order."

End of call

TI: "Ok, I put in three more lines today, so you have four so far but I can't
gurantee that any will continue to work."

Us: "What's the problem?"

TI: "The construction crew didn't splice the lines according to the print,
some of the lines aren't really there and there are reading problems on
others. They may work sometimes and may not, depends on how the wind blows."

Us: "So now what?"

TI: "My boss kicked it back to construction to fix it. I'm pulled off the job.
Bye."

Call to Super

Us: After explaining the problem again, "So what's next?"

Super: "Sending construction back tomorrow, installer said readings are all
wrong but the job was done per the print. Installer must be wrong. But you
have four lines now."

Us: "But the installer said they might not work all the time."

Super: "We'll find out tomorrow, and he did install one line that we had
already installed last Thursday too."

Us: "Actually he installed five more lines at the Network Interface Box but
two of them are totally dead."

Super: "So, it looks like all your lines are in then."

Us: "But they don't work! They aren't spliced in."

Super: "I guess you called and had them disconnected."

Us: "Arrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!"



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