Text 2449, 255 rader
Skriven 2005-09-05 07:27:38 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Employment History
==============================
       George Pope was saying F unny stuff to  all

 GP> A medical student was taking the history of a patient

I Love Bowling!

Dear Mom,

 I am so excited.  I met this terrific guy at church last Sunday and
he's taught me everything there is to know about bowling... and is
it a fun game!

 First he took me to his apartment to see his ten pin.  This puzzled
me at first as I thought bowling had something to do with ten pins
not one ten-pin.  He said it was best to begin with one; but I could
try 10 later when I was experienced.

 He asked if I would like to polish his ten-pin and balls.  I said
sure so he took them out for me to see.  Mom, he has the nicest
little bowling bag with 2 balls in it...but he didn't want me to take
them out of the bag. I looked around for a cloth to polish with but
couldn't find any.  He said I could just use my tongue and I did.
As soon as I started that his ten-pin got super hard and big...I
wondered if it would be fun to suck on and it was! he started
moaning, though, so I had to stop.  He told me to go ahead please as
that was the best way to get the polish out.  So I licked and I
sucked and he moaned and I sucked. Suddenly my mouth was filled with
his polish. I was so excited I swallowed the polish, but he didn't
mind, he said we could make more after a few minutes.

 Then he said that I had a few bowling features, too---how come you
and daddy never told me about them?  He showed me my reset buttons on
my chest and my very own bowling alley...and I didn't even know what
they were for! He started playing with my reset buttons, first with
his hands, then his tongue, then his hands, his tongue...I tried to
lay still for him but my body started writhing around and I started
moaning too...ooh it felt good!

 Then he checked out my alley and said he would eat a little before
he threw a strike.  When he started eating I nearly died!  My eyes
were crossing and my toes curled up so tight they hurt...but felt
good too! My whole body was electrified with excitement, every muscle
trembled at once!

 He had finished his snack, but I was now hungry so I started to go
after his special polish.  I licked one ball and then the other.  I
took his ten-pin deep into my mouth and started to suck.  But he
said to stop. He wanted to polish my alley with his ten-pin.  I
thought my alley had been polished pretty well already but I wasn't
going to tell him, cuz I was ready for more.  He thrust his hot hard
pin deep into my alley and literally took my breath away for a
moment.  Then he started thrusting again and again. I LOVED it !  My
whole body started to go crazy again! I was squirming and writhing
underneath him while he worked and I felt like I was spinning higher
and higher.  I knew I was moaning and yelling, but I couldn't stop.
It was so intense!  He took me up, up, up to somewhere I've never
been before...and I aim to go back again!

 He said he'd take me there as often as I wanted; but he needed a
little rest first.

 Well mom, I really enjoyed bowling with him.  But I just don't
understand.  Why do some people think bowling is dull?

with love,

Virginia.


> OBjoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

GEORGE POPE................. in traffic

Not to value men of superior velocity is the way to keep the people from
rivalry among themselves.

Not to prize vehicles which are expensive to procure is the way to keep
them from becoming car theives.

We should blunt our sharp cornering, and unravel the complication of our
weaving on the freeway.

We should temper the brightness of our headlights.

May not the space between two cars be compared to a bellows?

The mediocre man becomes more and more urgent until he passes the sage,
but at the next light the sage pulls up alongside him.

When a sage does not wrangle about his position in traffic, no one finds
fault with him.

A car may be beautifully styled, but it is the four seats within that
makes it useful. The most cherished model that has exceeded its factory
warranty is a worthless piece of junk when it breaks down.

How may a sage's car be described? It's upper part is not bright, under
the hood it is not obscure. Ceaseless in it's action, it never fails to
start. Travelling to the next city, it becomes remote, yet it reliably
returns home again with the light of morning. We pass it, but we do not
see a self-aggrandizing vanity plate. We follow it, but we do not see a
self-aggrandizing bumper sticker.


A violent wind does not last for a whole morning, a sudden rain does not
last for the whole day. If Heaven and Earth cannot make such thing last
long, then how much less permanent is a mere traffic tie-up!

The skillful driver leaves no traces of his leaky oil pan or his smoky
engine.

The sage knows how the HOV lane attracts, but when commuting alone he
keeps himself within the shade of the regular lanes.

To be King of the Road is a spirit-like thing, and cannot be got by
active driving. He who would hold the scepter tightly in his grasp will
lose it.

A sage will pass a slower vehicle, but be on his guard against being
vain or boastful or arrogant in consequence of it. He passes as a matter
of necessity. He passes, but not from a wish of mastery.

Which do you hold more dear? Speed or life? Getting to point B early or
living long?

The reckless and fast do not die their natural deaths. I make this the
basis of my teaching.

The freeway that can be driven is not the eternal Freeway.

When drivers see other cars as slow, they are filled with the desire to
go fast. When drivers eliminate desire, they go with the flow and there
is no stress.

The Freeway is like a well: used, but never used up.
The Freeway doesn't take sides, it gives birth to both calm and angry
drivers. Hold onto the center lane.

The Freeway has no desires for itself; thus it is present for all
drivers.

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare speeds or
compete for postition, everybody will respect you.

Do not tailgate, but step back at least three seconds behind the driver
in front of you. This is the only path to serenity.

Having a lane without possessing, driving with no expectations, leading
by example and not trying to control: This is the supreme virtue.

Headlights blind the eye. Horns deafen the ear.
A sexy pair of legs endangers traffic.

Just stay at the center of the lane and let all things take their
course.

Open yourself to the Freeway, then trust your natural responses; and
everything will fall into place.

If you let restlessness move you, you lose track of where the police
speed traps are.

A good motorist has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving.

The Master sees other drivers as they are, without trying to control
them. He lets them go their own way, and resides in the center lane.

He enters traffic gravely, with sorrow and with great compassion, as if
he were attending a funeral.

All arterials end in the Freeway as rivers flow into the sea. The great
Freeway flows everywhere.

The Freeway never does anything, yet upon it all things are transported.

Return is the movement of the Freeway. Yielding is the way onto the
Freeway.


True mastery of the road can be gained by letting traffic go its own
way. It cannot be gained by interfering.

Be aware when other drivers are out of balance, for they might be drunk.
Stay centered within your own lane.

Let all driving decisions come and go effortlessly, without desire.
Never expect results and you will never be disappointed.

Give road rage nothing to oppose and it will disappear by itself.

Humility means trusting the Freeway, thus never needing to be a
defensive driver.

The Freeway is the center of the metropolis, the good man's treasure,
the bad man's refuge.

Think of the small traffic jam as large and the few cars as many.
Confront the difficult commute while it is still easy; accomplish the
great journey by a series of small maneuvers.

Anticipate trouble before it arises. The journey of a thousand miles
starts from your carport.

All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility
gives a good driver his power.

The best general enters the mind of his enemy. The best driver knows the
thoughts of the drivers close to him.

When two cars rush at each other, the victory will go to the one that
knows how to yield.

Whoever is fast and arrogant is a disciple of death. Whoever is slow and
yielding is a disciple of life.

The quick and aggressive driver will be involved in a rollover accident.
The soft and supple driver will prevail, and honk as he passes the
stupid bastard.


> OBjoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

BUT WILL IT PLAY IN SWEDEN?

Some of the most interesting documents from Sweden's middle ages are the
old county laws (well, we never had counties but it's the nearest
equivalent I can find for "landskap").  These laws were written down
sometime in the 13th century, but date back even down into Viking
times.  The oldest one is the Vastgota law which clearly has pagan
influences, thinly covered with some Christian stuff.  In this law, we
find a page about "lekare", which is the Old Norse word for a performing
artist, actor/jester/musician etc.  Here is an approximate translation,
where I have written "artist" as equivalent of "lekare".

"If an artist is beaten, none shall pay fines for it.  If an artist is
wounded, one such who goes with hurdie-gurdie or travels with fiddle or
drum, then the people shall take a wild heifer and bring it out on the
hillside.  Then they shall shave off all hair from the heifer's tail,
and grease the tail.  Then the artist shall be given newly greased
shoes.  Then he shall take hold of the heifer's tail and a man shall
strike it with a sharp whip.  If he can hold her, he shall have the
animal.  If he cannot hold her, he shall endure what he received, shame
and wounds."


Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)