Text 2454, 121 rader
Skriven 2005-09-05 07:51:58 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Why Men Lie
=======================
       George Pope was saying F unny stuff to  all  

 GP> One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a
   > river, his axe fell into the river.

"CAN YOU TURN POOP PINK?"

DAYTON, Ohio, Dec. 23 /PRNewswire/ -- "How many calories in a mouse?" and
"What should I feed a borderline collie?" were just a few of the wacky
questions that the Iams Pet Professionals fielded from pet owners last
year.  The last year of the century was another bumper year for weird and
wonderful calls to The Iams Company's pet care hotline.  Here are the
team's favorite calls in 1999 to 800-863-IAMS (4267):

-- "I have trouble seeing what I'm scooping in my yard.  Can your food
turn my dog's poop pink?"  -- dog owner, Ronkonkoma, N.Y.

-- "Is your cat food good for urinal infections?"  -- cat owner, San
Jose, Calif.

-- "My two-year-old daughter loves the taste of Iams -- is it okay for
her to eat it?"  -- mother, Staten Island, N.Y.

-- "What's the best way to get superglue off my dog's paws?"  -- dog
owner, Arlington, Texas.

-- "Can a dog get claustrophobia?"  -- dog owner, Cambridge, Mass.

-- "My dog growls in his sleep -- do you think he could have a vitamin B
deficiency?"  -- dog owner, Puyallup, Wash.

-- "I think if my dog received mail, it would build his character.  Can I
register him on your mailing list?"  -- dog owner, Richmond, Va.

-- "How do I potty train my pot belly pig?"  -- pot belly pig owner, Vero
Beach, Fla.

-- "What's up with my cat?  She looks at me strangely when I sing and
dance for her."  -- cat owner, New York, N.Y.

-- "I have two new kittens and I don't want to leave them home alone.
Can I carry them around in my gym bag?"  -- new kitten owner, Brooklyn,
N.Y.

-- "I'm thinking of setting up a kennel, and I was wondering ... how much
poop can 50 dogs make in one year?"  -- dog owner, Davis, Calif.

-- "My son just sold me a subscription to the Iams Your Cat magazine.
But you tell me it's free?"  -- concerned mom, Englewood, Ohio.

-- "When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn.  Is he
peeing fire?"  -- dog owner, Covington, Ky.

-- "I raise worms -- the world's most perfect protein source.  How about
using them in your food?"  -- worm farmer, Long Barn, Ohio.

-- "I can smell my cat's urine and tell what cat food brand she's eating.
Can you use this talent at Iams?"  -- cat owner, Sacramento, Calif.

"When these type of calls come in, it's hard to keep a straight face,"
says Sally Northcutt, manager of Customer Service, The Iams Company.
"But we know that most of the time we have a customer on the phone who is
genuinely concerned for his or her pet.  Our sole purpose is to help pet
owners with their questions, so however strange those questions may seem,
we try our best to answer them.

> OBgadzillion: for Cyberpope......Things To Think About

  Does anybody care where Carman is?

  If a Parisian falls off a bridge does he go in Seine?

  If all the people who commute into New York City every day were stacked
one on top of the other the stack would be 1000 miles high. Would any of
these people be able to distinguish this from their normal ride home?

  If Los Angeles is the City of Angels why do they have such a high crime
rate?

  Is Las Vegas so crowded because nobody has the money left for the plane
fare to leave?

  Is the reason most New Yorkers get so depressed because New Jersey is
the light at the end of their tunnel?

  Isn't the nice part of living in a small town the fact that when you
don't know what you're doing someone else does?

  The main park in the City of Swift Current Saskatchewan Canada is
called Kinetic Park. Does this mean that the only energy you can expend
there is kinetic energy?

  What is the difference between uptown and downtown? It can't be
altitude because people in the same community use both terms.

  What point is East Point east of?

  Where do people who live in Lourdes go when they are ill?

  Why do they call New York City 'the city that never sleeps'? Is that
because it looks like it?

  Why do we call a small backward place, a 'jerkwater' town?

  Why doesn't Baltimore's only subway line go anywhere?

  Why is New York City called The Big Apple?




Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
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