Text 2462, 75 rader
Skriven 2005-09-05 08:06:38 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: F unny
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FORGET STICKING TO THE RESOLUTION -- I CAN'T EVEN PICK ONE
by Mickey Guisewite (View from the Middle) (December 27, 1998)

It used to be so easy to make a resolution.  After the holidays we all
agreed we were too fat, and we resolved to lose weight.

"I'm too fat," I would say to my friend.

"Me too," my friend would reply.  "I'm going on a diet," I would state.

"Me too," she would say.

It was easy, that is, until this year.  This year I sat down with my
girlfriend and -- bolstered by 27 diet articles, four workout videos,
two new pieces of exercise equipment and a visualization audio tape -- I
made my 1999 pledge:  "This year I resolve to rid myself of these stupid
10 extra pounds!" I exclaimed, waving my carrot stick in the air.  "I
emancipate myself from fat!  I am bigger than my fat!  As of Jan. 1,
this fat is no longer welcome on my body!"

To which my friend responded, "Oh. You're still into that whole diet
thing?  This year I'm resolving to embrace my natural shape, which
happens to be so unique that it doesn't fall within all of those silly
weight guidelines we used to refer to."

I thought I hadn't heard correctly.

"Why diet?" she continued.  "Dieting is out.  Dieting is over.  Dieting
is for people who haven't affirmed that personal happiness has nothing
to do with size."

I sat there staring at my friend while the realization sunk in:  In
1999, for every resolution there's a counter-resolution.

And it goes way beyond dieting.  Announce to the world that all of your
self-help books have made you resolve to become rich and famous this
year, and you'll get drowned out by another person announcing that all
her self-help books have made her resolve to quit her job and move to a
simple mountain cabin where she can garden and yodel.

Proclaim that this is the year you take the child-care expert's advice
and spend more time cooking healthy, wholesome meals for your family,
and you'll wind up debating the person who proclaims that this year
she's going to take a different child-care expert's advice and spend
more time playing outside with her kids and less time cooped up in the
kitchen.

Every time I'm ready to go with a point of view, I'm lured by a
completely opposite yet completely valid point of view.  Each time I
commit to a program for the new year, I hear of another program just as
appealing.

In the new year, do I bravely step on the scale every day?  Or do I
brazenly march the scale to the Goodwill box?  Do I resolve to conquer
the heaps of paper on my desk?  Or do I decide to treat them as shrines
to my manila-file-folder-free lifestyle?

Who ever thought we would long for the good old days when we were
tempted by the sweet smell of doughnuts instead of the enticing sound of
someone else's resolution?

Write to Mickey Guisewite at mguisewite@aol.com.

Copyright 1998 Mickey Guisewite -- All rights reserved.

Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... Here's some fun:  Walk into an antique shop and say, "What's new?!?"

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)