Text 276, 111 rader
Skriven 2004-10-04 23:52:58 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: My Personals Ad
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My dating scene, hasn't been that good -
And I might say it's been bad.
The "Personals", kind of caught my eye -
Guess I'll take me out an ad.

I'll write down things that interest me -
And what I like to do.
They say to look for common interests -
A mate that's just like you.

I thought about the things I like -
Such as my favorite dish.
And how I'm not that big on cooking -
But I sure do like to fish.

I need someone who fishes too -
Or at least has read the book.
What I really need is someone to clean um' -
Peel taters and likes to cook.

Then, of course, another thing -
As I make this list of wishes.
After I've eaten that platter of fish -
They'll need to wash the dishes.

I like to relax in my big ole recliner -
It helps to clear my head.
But I need someone to wake me up -
And send me off to bed.

In the mornings, you can't beat breakfast -
To help your nerves feel steady.
I need me a Lady, who does breakfast too -
And will wake me when it's ready.

Tidiness gets high marks with me -
Not that I'm one to grade.
So, by noontime should be long enough -
To see the beds are made.

I'm pretty athletic, as you might guess -
I can watch football around the clock.
So house cleaning must be a quiet chore -
Not to disturb her in-the-house jock.

We'll work together with the phone -
I can let her screen my calls.
And I'd give her at least, two days a week -
To iron my over-alls.

Even the washing won't have to be rushed -
For these old clothes of mine.
To help her out, I could let her add -
A second clothes hangin' line.

I love the smell of a fresh cut lawn -
Even though mine may not show it.
If I could only find someone -
To send out there and mow it.

And nothing sets off a well-groomed yard -
Like lots of pretty flowers.
It's such a delight, to see them grow -
I could sit and watch for hours.

I'll look for someone who loves flowers too -
Knows fertilizers, and doesn't mind the dirt.
And to keep from planting them, over and over -
A green thumb wouldn't hurt.

Shopping would be another thing -
That I don't mind at all.
A great time for us to interact -
Downtown at the local mall.

What ever we need, she'll be in charge -
Shop that store from front to rear.
And when she's through, I'll be easy to find -
Checking out the new fishin' gear.

Restaurants are no problem either -
To go there, I'd never shout.
Even miles away won't bother me -
When she picks up our Carry-Out.

I hope she'll have a big fine car -
Now wouldn't that be some luck.
Since I can't work, all I've got to drive -
Is this rusty old pick-up truck.

I'll let her do all the driving too -
That's just cause I'm so sweet.
And the back seat driving that I do -
Will always be from the front seat.

I figure I'll be, "Quite The Catch" -
For some young debutante.
Taking me to all those fancy parties -
Her Country Boy she could flaunt.

I got a call just yesterday -
In answer to my ad.
But she sounded a little bit irritated -
Oh heck, she was down right mad.

She said that it would be her guess -
This person would wear a beeper.
"You're not looking for a mate, goof-ball -
You're looking for a KEEPER
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