Text 2817, 166 rader
Skriven 2005-10-13 06:55:38 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Grin
================
 GP> On (12 Oct 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
   >  GP> Well, considering you guys can't afford to change your
   >    > stationery/etc. so you haven't updated your country's name
   >    > (hate to tell you, mate, but it's FAR from "new" any more!)
   >
   >         G-day Mate, so tell the NEW Zealander how many times has
   > Canada changed its name EH!!! '-) ALSO.....
   > what's new for you Cyberpope! <GRin>

     -=> George Pope replied in a message to Greg Sears <=-

 GP> I don't call myself "new" any more, and neither does Canada!

     G-day Mate, OK, is that relevant to the chat? '-?

 GP> Now the Yanks are still kind of stupid, what with New England & New
   > York, neither of which is new or much like their namesakes!

     G-day Mate, SO what these jokers do is important to YOU! '-????????

> OBQ&A's: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Q: What's worse than a bus load of dead babies?
A: One in the center eating it's way out.

Q: What's red & white and sits in a corner?
A: A baby with a razor blade.

Q: What's gray & red and goes 100 m.p.h.?
A: A cat in a blender.

Q: What do vampires eat as snack crackers?
A: Scabs.

Q: What would Hitler have invented if he'd lived another six months?
A: The self cleaning oven.

Q: Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
A: It seats 25.

Q: What's the best way to eat a chicken?
A: Put one leg around each ear.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What do you call a fag with diarrhea?
A: A juicy fruit.

Q: What's an Italian cocktail?
A: A glass of wine with a booger in it.

Q: Why are blacks so quick on their feet?
A: Because they spend their first nine months dodging coat hangers.

Q: What have you got when you cover four dead babies with a piece of
   glass?
A: A coffee table.


> OBJokes: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

Was Jesus a transvestite?

  It's hard to tell, but he did say to Peter while he was hanging on the
cross, "Peter, darling, please get my flats.  These spikes are killing
me."

---------------------------------------then

One morning a milk man called on one of his regular customer and was
surprised to see a white bed sheet with a hole in the middle hanging
up in her living room.  The housewife explained that she'd had a
party the night before. They had played a game called "Who's Who's"
in which each of the men had put their dicks through the hole and the
women tried to guess their identity.

 "Gee, that sounds like fun," said the milkman.  "Sure wish I'd been
there."

 "You should have been," said the housewife. "Your name came up three
times!"

---------------------------------------so

One buddy talking to another:

   "Me, fight with my wife!  Hell No!  She's got half the money and
all the pussy, the argument is already won!

   Last week I had my wife down on her hands and knees begging...
begging for me to come out from under the bed and fight like a man!"

---------------------------------------then

  A struggling actor in New York finally landed his first role in a
Broadway play.  He had only one line, but he was, nonetheless, quite
thrilled. Weeks of rehersal went by, and the young actor repeated his
line over and over-  "Hark, I hear the cannons roar!"

  Day and night, he practiced his line (the opening line of the play)

 "Hark, I hear the cannons roar!  Hark, I hear the cannons roar!"

  Opening night arrived, the stage was set and the curtains parted to
a thunderous BOOM.

  The actor jumped in the air and shouted, "What the hell was that!?!?"

---------------------------------------finally

A few stories about the mother-in-law, keeping in mind that many tales
are totally UNFAIR, but do make for FUNNY situations.
            ^^^^^^                  ^^^^^

        For many husbands, the "blessed event" occurs when mother-in-law
goes home.  One such fellow remarked, "What a superb pleasure trip I
just had!  I drove my mother-in-law to the airport."  Another commented
that he'd love to go out and drown his troubles, but he can't get his
mother-in-law in the water.  And then there is Paul who stated that last
month his mother-in-law visited the local zoo and had to buy two
tickets...one to get in and the other to get out again.  Perhaps someone
has overheard Tom telling his co-workers about his constant bickering
with his mother-in-law.  Because of her latest remark that she's going
to dance on his grave, Tom has decided to be buried at sea.


        A man went to a bookstore and asked to see a book titled, "How
to Control Your Mother-in-Law."

        "Our fiction department is in the rear, right side of the
aisle," the salesman said with a smile.


        We're having definitions of words, Dad, and the teacher asked
some tough ones."

        "How tough," his father replied.  "Give me an example."

        "Monologue was one...define monologue."

        "That one I know," his father responded, "it's a conversation
between your Grandma and me."


        "It's just not true, Larry," his mother-in-law said, shaking her
head, "it's simply not so.  I have never, never made a fool out of you.
I have always given you every opportunity to develop your own natural
talent in that regard."


        There's no excuse for a husband not to know what's wrong with
him.  It's just that he hasn't been listening to his mother-in-law. <G>



Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... George Pope. . . . Said that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2?

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