Text 2900, 79 rader
Skriven 2005-10-23 07:18:34 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Bone
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 25

                        Are You A Neanderthal?

  As you know, there is growing evidence that suggests that Neanderthal
  man may have interbred with modern man.  As a matter of fact his
  descendants may be with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo
  Sapiens.  If you suspect a "touch of the old hand ax" in your ancestry,
  score yourself on this test:

              Test Yourself:                          ,#####I#####,
                                                   ,########I########,
  1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle?         ,###.'  ~~~~~  '.###,
     If so, give yourself five points.          ,####/#####"""#####\####
  2. Can you lock your knees in an upright      ####/ \_O_/   \_O_/ \####
     position?  If not, take five points.       ###(      |   |      )###
  3. Got a chin?  If the answer is no, add      #####,   ( o o )  ,######
     three points.                              '#######   _"_   #######'
  4. How about a forehead?  If not, add          #####'`.'`_`_`'.`'#####
     another three points.                      ,#####\ `._`"`_.' /#####,
  5. Is it easy for you to balance a book       #######'._ ``` _.'#######
     on your head?  Then give yourself five     ########/ '---' \########
     points.                                    `#jgs##'         '######`
  6. Do you ever open Coke bottles with your
     teeth?  If you do, add ten points.
  7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than
     sitting in a chair?  Take five points.
  8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck?  If not, add one point
     for every five degrees of slope.
  9. Less than five feet tall?  Add one point for every inch under.
10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for
     every inch of difference.
11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
12. Pigeon-toed?  Five points.
13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club?  You're
     normal--no points.
14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to
     hold an apple?  Add five points.
15. Do you regularly eat apples in this way?  Add fifteen points.
16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not?
     Give yourself ten points.
17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an over-
     coat?  Take five more points.
18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"?  Three points.

Scoring:

   0-20 points:  You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens.  Feel free to
                 build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the
                 world.

  20-40 points:  A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will
                 occasionally have spells of primitive behavior,
                 crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly.
                 If you live in California, no one will notice.

  40-60 points:  You can still function quite well in the modern world,
                 but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table
                 manners give you away.

  60-80 points:  Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant.  You should
                 consider a career in pro football.

  80-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there
                 is no place for you in human society.  Try running for
                 public office instead.

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

END

 

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)